Topic: We Pet Owners! | |
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To pacify my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door: Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets: 1. They live here. You don't.2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)3. I like my pets a lot better than most people.4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours, eats off the floor, and doesn't speak clearly. 5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college - and if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.
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If my kids get pregnant I, too, can sell the children...
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Labs rule
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I have a friend that this applies to!!
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To pacify my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door: Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets: 1. They live here. You don't.2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)3. I like my pets a lot better than most people.4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours, eats off the floor, and doesn't speak clearly. 5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college - and if they get pregnant, you can sell the children. Haha. Awesome. So true. My dog has the personality of a child, but she doesnt talk. She just whines when she wants something. |
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