1. She looks out of the window and is arrested for indecent exposure.

2. As an infant, she had to be breast fed by the family dog.

3. Even mosquitoes avoid her.

4. She startles animals in the zoo.

5. At Halloween, she has to trick or treat over the phone.

6. She makes onions cry.

7. Her face looks like the horse that pulled Ben Hurs’ chariot.

8. Her armpit looks like she has Don King in a headlock.

9. The plastic surgeon wanted to add a tail.

10. When she was born, the doctor slapped her father.

11. When she was a baby, her mother had to pull the baby carriage.

12. She can eat an apple through a tennis racquet.

13. As a baby, she had shutters on her pram.

14. Also as a baby, her mother used to pull her pbaby carriage.

15. After going to see the film ‘Elephant Man’ she stood outside for 45 minutes, signing autographs.

Hey!!!!
I was so ugly as a kid they had to tie a pork chop around my neck to get the family dog to play with me

The signs you think your girlfriend is too ugly,
1. Its not me, its you. (It's you! Brush your hair)
2. I need some space. (I am taking you off my myspace and ignoring you, I had no idea feet could smell that bad.)
3. I think we should see other people (I'm dating your hot sister, I wonder what happened to you?)
4. It's complicated right now. (its hard for me to look at you.)
5. Can we be friends? (Your so damn ugly eventually I'll stop talking to you all together and you will never see me again.)