Someone says option three is pushing those thoughts out of my head whenever they arise, choosing to live my life fully, distracting myself with positive endeavors and thoughts when times are hardest. But, how does one find the emotional energy to do this when they are completely drained, heart broken, and without solace? No one is available to talk to - no one that doesn't want something from me, anyway. I do not need insight, have tons of it. I need support now. I don't have anywhere or anything to draw from. It is not within right now and I can't do it alone.

{{{{{Angel}}}}

good morning today is a new daywith new beginings

Hello. I wish I could be as optimistic or trusting as you. Just learning how to sit with these uncomfortable and painful feelings by myself. Difficult but necessary.

I have this theory... and I expect to incite some sort of flame. 60% of all marriages fail, its been thrown out there in statistics. That means that 60% of all the people out there with cold feet should listen to them.

What does this tell us about relationships? I personally feel that we allow ourselves to fool ourselves by beleiving that things will be different just because we want them to be. I'm a pretty analytical person, and tend to over-analize things. All of my previous relationships have ended in disaster, and I don't think I'm going to blame anybody for it, its just part of the game. I've been hurt, lied to, cheated on, used, abused, and everything else in the 8 years I've been wading around in the deep end of the pool.

Hope is the only thing that seems constant. That that proverbial 'someone' is out there. Patience is few and far between when you want something and you want it yesterday because the lonely pains set in.

Good luck in finding your own solace and finding the inner strength to get back on the horse and take life by its reigns and make your own rules.