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Too bold, too bold
those strokes irritate and the medium rebels against the brush and color -especially the color! The surface is deep sanguine and sky metallic blue a moving, energy memory, looking for a nouny place to exist. If he holds the brush lightly He can glide it over, ignoring the lines (Watch the lines) and ignore the darkness and light errors, the friction of delight and lose the way. He could write coldness and light carrying those sentences away in little wagons of form, He could stir the clouds and air into rapid signs. But, his Paint brush is down, He's looking covering his eyes at the mistakes another failure of light. Mostly, he wants to write on someone painting one figure at a time drowning himself in texture and that pure, piaster of paint He managed to place without pigment. |
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nice
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inspired once upon a time
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love it!!
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Hey, I'd like to give you some feedback about your poem...
The line, "looking for a nouny place to exist". - I don't think this works - it sounds too light-hearted for the context. I think that if you're going to make up a word, then you should try to keep it within the flavor of the line. The line, "If he holds the brush lightly He can glide it over,ignoring the lines (Watch the lines)... -very good use of parenthesis! I like it! The line, "...and that pure, piaster of paint..." - is that a typo? Did you mean to write "plaster of paint?" This is a beautiful poem. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work! |
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you are an awesome writer!
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