I'm all too soon to be 47 and am raising a girl (my miracle) who is almost 10. She's really intelligent (Gifted program in her school, 7th-8th grade math and reading levels.) but what goes hand in hand with this, so I've been told, is her incredible stubborn side.

She knows "NO" means "NO" with me, and yet she will push until I explode with anger. I NEED to learn to curb this!

Ideas/Advice?

Thanks
Daydreamer, S. Seattle WA.

Either walk away, and let her know why you are walking away...and let her know when she wants to discuss it calmly, you are willing to talk to her...but let her know there is no yelling...and no pushing...you will be happy to explain why...but your answer stands...it will take a bit of time but as long as you stick to your word...she will learn that this is just the way things are going to be

WHOOPS>>>>OR...send her to a different room until she calms down and the...again...let her know when she calms down you are willing to talk

Thank you. :) I know I've allowed this to 'control' my reactions and I need to stop this. I'm SO incredibly proud of her, she's a good hearted girl. I just swear before she's 13 I'm gonna pop her pretty head off! HA!!

God help you....mines 17

well, wait til puberty...you take more brisk walks then you ever thought possible....lol....mine is a sweety...but even at 22 I still want to pop her in the head at times...she is so lucky that I love her

Jesus is the answer in all circumstances.

Well, isn't that her job - testing our limits?

But...seriously, gifted children are smart and we have to stay a step ahead of them. Now add hormones to that.

I believe that the key to the No situation is consistency.
When one says NO, they can't ever change their minds.

Jesus is the answer to a gifted child's obstinate behavior?


I have one of these kids too.....I have found she hates my "low voice" and knows when I use it I mean business. When I yell at her (which is sometimes hard not to do) she just throws it right back at me! I'm with ya in this...and we have many more years of it!!!..

Ugh the hormones!!! Sigh, I know now why my mom called me brat.....hehe

I swear mine is, deep inside.....I'm told the higher intelligence comes with this package? Hmm.

I have another thought. Gifted children sometimes feel out of place at school. They might be holding those feelings in all day and letting it all out when they get to the safe place called home.

Thank you. :) I know I've allowed this to 'control' my reactions and I need to stop this. I'm SO incredibly proud of her, she's a good hearted girl. I just swear before she's 13 I'm gonna pop her pretty head off! HA!!
well, wait til puberty...you take more brisk walks then you ever thought possible....lol....mine is a sweety...but even at 22 I still want to pop her in the head at times...she is so lucky that I love her


She's already showing signs of this. I think it'll be this year. ACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And, I do pray, a lot. With her, and alone. I make sure in our nightly prayers that I ask Him to help give us better listening skills and to be able to work well together and love eachother.

I know better than to pray for paitence! ;)

well, wait til puberty...you take more brisk walks then you ever thought possible....lol....mine is a sweety...but even at 22 I still want to pop her in the head at times...she is so lucky that I love her


She's already showing signs of this. I think it'll be this year. ACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Here's the fun part. Your hormones may be hitting about the same time that hers are!!

i have 16 and 18 year old girls...wow!!!!...i have found that positive reinforcement in conjunction with consistency works...if they are being moody; i ignore it..we have fun when the hormones are in check...and i agree with the no means no principle...i refuse to discuss issues with them unles they are able to speak appropriately.

Okay, where do those icons come from? I LOVE the head beating against a wall! TOO funny!

(Thank you!)

Click on the Add Smiley to the left of your post. They're hiding in there.

Here in Burien (South Seattle, near the airport) they have a gifted program within the grade schools. She's improved A TON since she started last year. She's around kids "of a like mind" (that is a teachers quote) and has a lot more friends. She's being challenged (The name of the program is "Challenge") and again is doing 7th and 8th grade math and reading. She blows my mind, as I can barely add 1+1! HA! Her Dad is slow himself. (Part of the reason why we're in the mess we are between us. Tough to live with.)

ANYWAY, she has a lot more friends now and her teacher this year is really on the ball watching for patterns etc. She's having some issues with follow through (work done, etc), and letting others lead. I'm asking about ADD, but if it is that, it's mild, so I'm going to work on a diet change before drugs. (She's already a very healthy eater thank God. Rare sugar, veggies over fries, and milk! She doesn't even like soda.)