recently my father married after 5 years of my mother passing away. I
never thought or did he ever think he would marry again.
I have a ??? for anyone thats dealt with a stepparent, especially when
they dont make u feel welcome and boss you around, soppose to do what
they want all the time, and my father lets her treat me, my sister and
my brother this way. But, when her 6 children come around, they dont
have to do crap and they are welcomed and everything..Im visiting my
father, he lives 250 miles from me, brought the kids up to see theyre
PaPa..but she has been such a u know what..How do u deal with it?

I would try and talk to her and your father about it reasonably. If she
refuses to be reasonable, then tell her out right, that she needs to
mind her own business, butt out of family business, and leave you and
your children alone. And if your father will not back you on this, then
you have another totally different decision to make. But by all means
you MUST NOT allow your children to see you being treated
disrespectfully else they will treat you so as well.

I can't tell you how to deal with it, just do it somehow someway. I
stayed away because of my wicked stepmother which turns out not to be
the best choice. In 1995 my father died when I was only 25. The hardest
thing I had to deal with was the fact that I lacked relationship with
him because of her. Don't let her come inbetween you and your father
whatever you decide to do.

thanks guys..im not coming here again..if my dad wants to see the kids,
he'll have to come and see them..i have no desire to be around her..i
wouldnt treat my guests like crap, telling me what to do, etc..she told
me i was taking advantage of my father..bullcrap..

and daniel..shes always right..so u cant sit and talk to her..shes
always right, never wrong and that pisses me off!!!

i really feel for you and know how you feel i have had my mother chosse
men over me before and it is hurtful i would talk to your dad first and
he doesnt do anything talk to her so you can tell them later on you
tried talking to them and working things out before and they would not
listen

Sorry to hear what you are going through. My father passed about five
years ago and even though I have yet to face the man my mother has been
with for the last year and is planning to marry I have listened to my
sisters complaints. I have no advice on that part of the problem.

I do however know what it is like to not know your grandparents because
of differences. I did not meet them until I was 16yrs old. After I did I
treated my parents differently, because they taught me that family was
the most important thing in life and that I (we my siblings and I)
should always make the effort to work out our differences. My parents
always said that someone has to be the bigger person and make every
effort until the other cracks and comes around or you can learn to
accept that the other is different than you. I meet my grandparents and
relize that they did not follow those teachings to well themselves.

The moral here is that you should never let your children she anyone
disrespect you, nor you disrespect anyone else. But you also have to be
the better person and continue to make the effort no matter how much it
hurts you to do so. Your children have the right to know their
grandfather and you should not be the reason that they do not, nor
should you let this woman be the reason. Voice your concerns with your
father and never give up trying to make him see the problem. I think
that one day he will come around and make the changes needed or speak up
for you to his wife.

I know it is not much help as I am not the best in the advice area, but
I hope it will help some.

thank u all for replying..Im home from from there now and the next time
i go up to see my dad which is sad and i shouldnt have to do this is im
staying in a hotel, i dont need her crap..You just dont treat your
quests the way she did..She didnt make me feel welcomed at all..I know
my dad is happy with this woman and im happy for him, but in my book, he
made a bad choice..I dont like her and i let her know it..I dont put up
with people treating me like im soppose to "kiss ass" i dont kiss
anyones ass, especially my dad's wife...

my mom married a real WANKER. I stayed away until she divorced
him.

I never went through this, my step mom was wonderful!! I just wanted my
father to be happy, he was very happy with her. I guess I am very lucky
to have had such a nice lady involved in my dads life, plus I had 2
great step-brothers who I accept as my own brothers.
I wish you luck because heres the problem, life is way to short!! You
should never let ANY ONE come between you and your father...talk to your
dad!! Tell him how you feel, don't let your feelings change for him or
you might regret that someday and then it might be to late!! HUGSSSS

ty unsure i've already talked to my dad and he is in
"head over heels" with her..im not gonna fight, he has made his choice
and i too want him to be happy, so i'm going to put up with her for
him..i dont have to like her, but i have to treat her with respect
whenever im around her...doing it just for my dad..they live 200 miles
away anyways, so its not like i see her all the time..its not that shes
a wicked witch, just very set in her ways and stuck up..wants everyone
to bow to her..well, not me..she aint my queen..let my dad
bow..lol

Hey Sweets,
I'm sorry to hear about that crapfest you've been dealing with. I
personally think your approach is the right one. All I'll say is don't
cut off your dad. Unless he hurts or disrespects to a degree that is
unforgivable.
I haven't had a step-parent, But the last words I said to my father were
ugly and I've never forgiven myself for that.
If you don't like the wife, Fine. Don't lose your pop.

G.

My oldest daughter is mystep daughter, she is still one of my babies. I
raised her from 18 months tofour yrs. But I have always been there for
her. She is 31 now, she calls me daddy and calls her dad by his first
name. She also has four of my grandbabies, I was the first one she
called after the birth of each even before herown mother. I have loved
this child with all my heart and noone could ever change that. She has
never been treated any different than myother four children, even my
biological kids call her sis, and they look up to her as such, even take
it when big sis gets in their rear. so not all stepparents are bad.
I don't reallyknow what to say about yourstepmother, execpt she is the
one missing out, don't let her destroythe relationship youhave with your
father. If it was meI would pull her into the kitchen and tell her that
face to face and let her know your father is worth fighting over if
that is what she wants, but that it would be easier on everyone if she
were to try to get along, because you are very willing to at least try
to treat her with respect, and then take it from there...

ok perfect example on how my dad has changed when he met and married
this woman..every holiday if he couldnt be with me and his grandkids
would send a card, either by email or mail..not this year, cause of
her..this is what aggravates me..i sent them one, and no
response..ususally he would send a valentine to the kids, not this
year..its sad how he puts this b**** in front of his kids and
grandkids..really makes me

o well, im powerless..

everyone have a great Easter..

no sweet your not powerless. when you go to visit your dad ignore her,
be polite and talk with her but when she try's telling you or the kids
to do something just pretend she's not there. yes it's probably mean and
cruel,but trust me she should get the point real quick.

and yes i have a stepmother with 3 brothers, so i know it works.....lol
also 4 sisters and 2 more brothers. damn.........lol

ty slow..she just thinks shes god's gift to everything..and for dad to
put her b4 all of us? is bull****!!!!!!!!!!!