Dear Wife,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show
for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me
that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week,
you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut,
cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you
don't want sex anymore or anything. So, either you're cheating on me or
you don't love me anymore. Whatever the case is, I'm gone.
You're EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great life!

---------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a
far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they
drown out your constant whining and gripping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I did notice when you got a hair cut last week. The first thing that
came to mind was "My god you look gay!", but my mother raised me not to
say anything if you can't say anything nice. And when you cooked my
favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because
I stopped eating pork seven years ago. And I turned away from you when
you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on
them. And I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just
borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning.... and your silk boxers
were $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could
work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten
million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica But
when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling
life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote,
you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed... Rich as Hell and Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla, my sister, was born
Carl.

I hope that's not a problem.

WOW... that's priceless, I love it.

omg lmao!!

omg... i am soooooooo laughing...