This has happened many times now, both to me and to lady friends on this and other sites. It's one thing to mutual match, or to add each other as favorites, but not take the initiative to write a first message. But it's another when this happens: You mutual match with someone, and then write them. They read your message, but do not write back. When you check "Whose Viewed me"? they have looked at your profile again. Then a few days later, they look again. And again. But they never do answer your message.

If there was enough mutual attraction to click on want to meet, shouldn't they have at least enough courtesy to give a one line "Sorry, changed my mind", or even a "Your letter changed my mind"? After all, the person did make a token first move.

I wonder if people are, in the new age of values, losing a certain courtesy, and perhaps a willingness to tell even someone they will never meet anything that may put themselves in an uncomfortable position?

I kind of look at it like this. We come here because we don't have time, or the right personal circumstances, to look for dates in the real world. Most of us are, for the most part somewhat educated, and actually do get it that if we don't give identifying information, we can't be found easily. We have no expectation of actually meeting anyone on here unless you make a date.

So how can it hurt to all agree to write back the people who write you in return for your having chosen them in some manner, even if only to turn them down. This will end up saving us all time and energy, and maybe even turn a "Not interested in dating" into a good friendship with no expectations? And through this process, people also gain a chance over time to understand how they appear to others, and where their weak areas might be. Everyone gains.


Just some thoughts....

The rafterman

Yeah, I've been wating to hear back from mine too, so I just went and deleted them.

You see, without that little doohicky, the universe stops.

pppsssttt...this is the internet, just saying.

I can tell you this much -- in my experience, sending out a first e-mail to anybody is the equivalent of pouring hot chocolate into a volcano. It doesn't make anything better and it accomplishes nothing.

If you stick around and post in the forums, if you get known around here, they will write to you. They will all be 897,000 miles away, but they WILL write to you....