Scarlet -- Not to seem the contrarian, but, for me, anyway, the
difference is largely defined by the willingness to be communicative.

I don't write anybody first. I just don't do it. I've seen too many
circumstances where, for whatever reason (probably bad past
experiences), women on websites are just paranoid when a guy makes first
contact, regardless of how respectful and intellectual he is in his
approach. Not being the type who has any desire to induce paranoia, I
wait and see who writes to me.

And they do. In good numbers, too, the same as has happened on other
sites I've dabbled with. But not the locals on JSH. Why? I don't
know.

I certainly post enough for people to get some idea of who I am.
Canadians certainly seem to like that, New Yorkers, Californians,
Pennsylvanians, Ohionians (whatever they call people from Ohio this
week), etc. -- never Illinoisans.

And I'm not even actively looking for a girlfriend or a relationship!
Just some locals to talk to. But it doesn't matter, the locals just
don't want to be bothered.

So when you say "Chicago is full of hotties," I would agree. But
Canada, for one, is full of hotties who actually want to talk to
somebody, and that makes a huge difference.

I see your point, LexFonteyne. Well stated. I don't have an answer. I
can only theorize. Perhaps chatting with someone local is too scary for
some. Some people like the idea of dating/networking sites but when it
comes down to actually having a relationship (any kind of relationship,
not specifically sexual in nature) it frightens them. People often feel
at ease being open with strangers with whom there is little chance of
ever meeting or really connecting with. Perhaps they just feel safer
with the long distance communications. I'm not sure. I'm curious to know
if those contacting you from other states ever contact people local to
them.

And that's my two cents for the evening.

Scarlet, I wish I had more information so I could answer your questions.
But I can tell you that, last year, I met two people on line (not from
JSH) -- one from Canada, one from New York, who were absolutely
insistent about meeting in person. I finally agreed, they came to
visit, and each time it was an unmitigated disaster (primarily because
they had grossly misrepresented themselves).

Many of the people I've talked to on line since then have pushed for a
meeting, but I have pretty much decided that is simply not going to
happen again.

I was a paying member of another site for 3 months last year and was
contacted by 174 of their members, many of whom were local, and many of
whom wanted to meet in person. Several of the locals went so far as to
tell me they would be at a bar down the street from me at a particular
time, and asked me (persistently) to meet them there. I don't drink,
and I don't go to bars, so I did not meet them.

So, I have detected absolutely no reluctance to meet in any of my
on-line experiences. I can't say if the Canadians and New Yorkers,
etc., are as eager to meet their own locals in person -- I simply don't
have any information on that.

My confusion revolves around the locals specifically on this site.
There are a fair number, based on what I see using the search function.
Yet their "behavior" is completely contradictory to everything else I
have experienced on the internet. It just puzzles me, that's all.

I don't really expect to find any answers, and it really isn't a big
deal. If I get to the point where I think I might want to try meeting
someone in person again, I will just have to move to another state (or
country)!