Dear Diary:

Day 1
Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate.
When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in
the bathroom and cried.

Day 2
Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, he says,
and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't he tell me
something I don't know! I mean, gimme a break. He's been dysfunctional
for so long that he even walks with a limp.

Day 3
This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a
picture of the Washington Monument and burst into tears.

Day 4
A miracle has happened! There's a new drug on the market that will fix
his 'problem.' It's called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra,
things will be just like they were on our wedding night. He said, 'this
time, I'd rather not have your mother join us.' I think this will work.
I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other
than his mood.

Day 7
This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended! Yesterday, at
Burger King, the manager asked me if I'd like a Whopper. He thought they
were talking about him. Get over yourself! Not everything is about you!

Day 8
I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing
the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed wacker.

Day 10
Okay, I admit it. I'm hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much. And
to make matters worse, he's washing the Viagra down with hard cider! The
photo of Janet Reno isn't working. What am I gonna do?

Day 11
The side effects are starting to get to him. Everything is turning blue.
The other day, we were watching Kenneth Branaugh in Hamlet and he
thought it was The Smurfs Do Denmark.

Day 12
I'm basically being drilled to death. It's like going out with a Black
and Decker power tool.

Day 13
I wish he was gay. I bought 400 Liza Minelli albums and I keep saying
'fabulous,' and still he keeps coming after me!

Day 14
Now I know how Saddam Hussein's wife feels. Every time I shut my eyes,
there's a sneak attack! It's like going to bed with a scud missile.
Let's hope he's not like ex- President Bush and takes 100 days to pull
out!

Day 15
I've done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even started
dressing like a nun. Now he tells me sister Wendy revs his motor.

Day 16
I may just have to kill him. Then he'll go out the way he wants to...
stiff! With my luck, I won't be able to close the casket.

ah lubs2pleeze,where do ya get yur material? i luv it, even U

Damn DUFF (((THANKS))) YOU TO KIND,,,,,if anyone here has yahoo hit me
up on it,, kslaudio_bizz@yahoo.com...hope to have new friends.....love
to all here

PS,,DUFF YOUR GREAT AS WELL,,GLAD WE NO FIGHT..WE LAUGH NOW RIGHT>>LMAO

DUFF MUFF U JUST TO TUFF..