100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: lighten up!!! | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
Lisa An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees'! 'What powerful rivers'! 'What beautiful animals'! He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!' Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.' 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer'? The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'? The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke: 'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.' 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lisa An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees'! 'What powerful rivers'! 'What beautiful animals'! He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!' Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.' 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer'? The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'? The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke: 'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
http://www.imeem.com/people/Vi4HcA2/playlist/hmzQNkjx/any_lovin_video_playlist/
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
That is so funny every
time I hear it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
yea JB.. I have watched it several times. They really did a good job..shalom...Miles
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
...... NEVER HEARD......AWESOME, LOL |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
to add more......
if none believe in "god", then they should not, as they have not proof as annother man does, so it would be FAKE, and the greatest commandment.......HONESTY BEFORE ALL MAN, WHICH IS GOD |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lisa An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees'! 'What powerful rivers'! 'What beautiful animals'! He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!' Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.' 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer'? The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'? The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke: 'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'  Good one
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
MorningSong
on
Sun 09/21/08 08:22 PM
|
|
Here's another version of the story..
  An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees'! 'What powerful rivers'! 'What beautiful animals'! He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!' Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.' 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer'? The atheist looked directly into the light and cried out, 'Forgive me Lord, I was blind for so long, but now I see the light !! SAVE me Lord!!" The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear suddenly dropped his right paw, and quickly bounded over to a thicket of fresh berries, he spotted glistening in the noon day sun. (bears are vegetarians, ) I know I know..it was just a joke.. 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
bears are vegetarians, )You better check your facts on that one. Bears do eat meat and kill it too. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
hey JB, did you here the one about the priestess and the penial gland?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
MorningSong
on
Sun 09/21/08 09:12 PM
|
|
True.
I should have said bears are MOSTLY Vegetarian. They are known to also eat mice , squirrels,and lying remains of deer or caribou . But flesh? Yikes....hmmmm.... Usually a bear attacks a human, only if the human is a threat to the bear ... and not neccesarily because the bear is looking for lunch. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
hey JB, did you here the one about the priestess and the penial gland? I want to know how large your pineal gland is.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
tribo
on
Sun 09/21/08 09:02 PM
|
|
hey JB, did you here the one about the priestess and the penial gland? I want to know how large your pineal gland is. start ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------,finish 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
hey JB, did you here the one about the priestess and the penial gland? I want to know how large your pineal gland is. start ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------,finish Wow that's one good size pineal gland. We are talking pineal gland aren't we?  
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
tribo
on
Sun 09/21/08 09:26 PM
|
|
hey JB, did you here the one about the priestess and the penial gland? I want to know how large your pineal gland is. start ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------,finish Wow that's one good size pineal gland. We are talking pineal gland aren't we? hmmm? i may have gotten the spelling wrong -      they don't call me third eye yi yiiii - for nuttin honey -
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
SharpShooter10
on
Sun 09/21/08 09:36 PM
|
|
True. I should have said bears are MOSTLY Vegetarian. They are known to also eat mice , squirrels,and lying remains of deer or caribou . But flesh? Yikes....hmmmm.... Usually a bear attacks a human, only if the human is a threat to the bear ... and not neccesarily because the bear is looking for lunch. He was beggin to get ate though, |
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
SkyHook5652
on
Sun 09/21/08 10:32 PM
|
|
hey JB, did you here the one about the priestess and the penial gland? I want to know how large your pineal gland is. start ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------,finish (Sorry, just couldn't resist that beautiful straight line.) (Or that pun.) (Somebody stop me!) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
STOP IT !!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
tribo
on
Mon 09/22/08 02:42 PM
|
|
HMMM? just like a high priestess, you give her what she ask for and then she becomes unresponsive. Just like my X - and why not just a preistess - why ""HIGH"" priestess, are you trying to tell us something, Jackie G. Bean???
 And just how long has the priestess been "HIGH" did you start out as a low priestess?
|
|
|
|
|
