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Topic: lighten up!!!
tribo Joined Mon 05/12/08 Posts: 5577	Sun 09/21/08 11:40 AM
Lisa An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees'! 'What powerful rivers'! 'What beautiful animals'! He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!' Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.' 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer'? The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'? The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke: 'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'

Matt8947 Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 426	Sun 09/21/08 11:57 AM
Lisa An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees'! 'What powerful rivers'! 'What beautiful animals'! He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!' Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.' 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer'? The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'? The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke: 'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'

Milesoftheusa Joined Fri 10/27/06 Posts: 5122	Sun 09/21/08 02:59 PM
http://www.imeem.com/people/Vi4HcA2/playlist/hmzQNkjx/any_lovin_video_playlist/

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Sun 09/21/08 06:37 PM
That is so funny every time I hear it.

Milesoftheusa Joined Fri 10/27/06 Posts: 5122	Sun 09/21/08 06:53 PM
yea JB.. I have watched it several times. They really did a good job..shalom...Miles

davidben1 Joined Wed 12/05/07 Posts: 6120	Sun 09/21/08 07:04 PM
...... NEVER HEARD......AWESOME, LOL

davidben1 Joined Wed 12/05/07 Posts: 6120	Sun 09/21/08 07:06 PM
to add more...... if none believe in "god", then they should not, as they have not proof as annother man does, so it would be FAKE, and the greatest commandment.......HONESTY BEFORE ALL MAN, WHICH IS GOD

SharpShooter10 Joined Tue 11/20/07 Posts: 11271	Sun 09/21/08 07:39 PM
Lisa An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees'! 'What powerful rivers'! 'What beautiful animals'! He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!' Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.' 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer'? The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'? The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke: 'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.' Good one

MorningSong Joined Mon 02/11/08 Posts: 4505	Sun 09/21/08 08:20 PM Edited by MorningSong on Sun 09/21/08 08:22 PM
Here's another version of the story.. An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees'! 'What powerful rivers'! 'What beautiful animals'! He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!' Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.' 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer'? The atheist looked directly into the light and cried out, 'Forgive me Lord, I was blind for so long, but now I see the light !! SAVE me Lord!!" The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear suddenly dropped his right paw, and quickly bounded over to a thicket of fresh berries, he spotted glistening in the noon day sun. (bears are vegetarians, ) I know I know..it was just a joke..

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Sun 09/21/08 08:22 PM
bears are vegetarians, ) You better check your facts on that one. Bears do eat meat and kill it too.

tribo Joined Mon 05/12/08 Posts: 5577	Sun 09/21/08 08:36 PM
hey JB, did you here the one about the priestess and the penial gland?

MorningSong Joined Mon 02/11/08 Posts: 4505	Sun 09/21/08 08:38 PM Edited by MorningSong on Sun 09/21/08 09:12 PM
True. I should have said bears are MOSTLY Vegetarian. They are known to also eat mice , squirrels,and lying remains of deer or caribou . But flesh? Yikes....hmmmm.... Usually a bear attacks a human, only if the human is a threat to the bear ... and not neccesarily because the bear is looking for lunch.

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Sun 09/21/08 08:58 PM
hey JB, did you here the one about the priestess and the penial gland? I want to know how large your pineal gland is.

tribo Joined Mon 05/12/08 Posts: 5577	Sun 09/21/08 08:59 PM Edited by tribo on Sun 09/21/08 09:02 PM
hey JB, did you here the one about the priestess and the penial gland? I want to know how large your pineal gland is. start ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------,finish

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Sun 09/21/08 09:19 PM
hey JB, did you here the one about the priestess and the penial gland? I want to know how large your pineal gland is. start ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------,finish Wow that's one good size pineal gland. We are talking pineal gland aren't we?

tribo Joined Mon 05/12/08 Posts: 5577	Sun 09/21/08 09:23 PM Edited by tribo on Sun 09/21/08 09:26 PM
hey JB, did you here the one about the priestess and the penial gland? I want to know how large your pineal gland is. start ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------,finish Wow that's one good size pineal gland. We are talking pineal gland aren't we? hmmm? i may have gotten the spelling wrong - they don't call me third eye yi yiiii - for nuttin honey -

SharpShooter10 Joined Tue 11/20/07 Posts: 11271	Sun 09/21/08 09:28 PM Edited by SharpShooter10 on Sun 09/21/08 09:36 PM
True. I should have said bears are MOSTLY Vegetarian. They are known to also eat mice , squirrels,and lying remains of deer or caribou . But flesh? Yikes....hmmmm.... Usually a bear attacks a human, only if the human is a threat to the bear ... and not neccesarily because the bear is looking for lunch. Tell that to the Grizzly man and his girlfreind He was beggin to get ate though,

SkyHook5652 Joined Sat 08/23/08 Posts: 4063	Sun 09/21/08 10:21 PM Edited by SkyHook5652 on Sun 09/21/08 10:32 PM
hey JB, did you here the one about the priestess and the penial gland? I want to know how large your pineal gland is. start ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------,finish On my screen that's about 2 1/2 inches. (Is that big for a pineal gland?) (Sorry, just couldn't resist that beautiful straight line.) (Or that pun.) (Somebody stop me!)

tribo Joined Mon 05/12/08 Posts: 5577	Mon 09/22/08 02:31 PM
STOP IT !!!!!!!!!!!

tribo Joined Mon 05/12/08 Posts: 5577	Mon 09/22/08 02:34 PM Edited by tribo on Mon 09/22/08 02:42 PM
HMMM? just like a high priestess, you give her what she ask for and then she becomes unresponsive. Just like my X - and why not just a preistess - why ""HIGH"" priestess, are you trying to tell us something, Jackie G. Bean??? And just how long has the priestess been "HIGH" did you start out as a low priestess?