This was a true letter to the Always maxi pad company
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Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years and
I
appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core(tm)
or
Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or
salsa
dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach
in
tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your
revolutionary
Flexi-Wings. Kudos, on being the only company smart enough to realize
how
crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe
and
secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from
"the
curse"?

I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right
now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging
through
my body.

Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed
into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife
skills."
Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen
quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your
customers' monthly visits from "Aunt Flo". Therefore, you must know
about the
bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood
swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize
it's a
tough time for most women.

In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to
shove
her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he
told
her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just
crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... which brings me to the
reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach
inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and
there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy
Period."

Are you f*cking kidding me?

What I mean is - does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really
think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible
during a
menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit
pleasurable?

Well, did it, James?

FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be
anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on
Motrin
and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down
to
the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to
end
your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man!

If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it
make
more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down
the
Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong", or are you just picking on
us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective
immediately,
there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take
my
maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your
Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending
bullsh*t.

And that's a promise I will keep...

Always.

Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX

OMG, too funny Took some "balls" for her to write
that

omg
SO FREAKIN' TRUE

I have seen the same quote on Always, and I agree totally with her! LMAO

I have seen the same quote on Always, and I agree totally with her! LMAO

and you found this how?lol.

Joe I do not know where it came from it was e-mailed to me.

:noway

LMAO but leaving quickly so as not to get caught in the crosshairs