Actual comments made on NYC Public School report cards.
1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an "idiot"
5. Your son has set low personal standards, and then consistantly fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a "full six pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is definitely dead.

The teachers were reprimanded.

Poly, that's just to funny can I copy this to send to a friend?

that's great. what a way to start my school year. thanks for the laugh poly.

Sure...go ahead and post away flame...

Musichic you sure need humor to deal with students...

I'd like to think there's a light at the end of the tunnel!

yeah it's called retirement but that is 10 yrs or more away for me.

to cute musichic

Sounds like fouixgee teacher of mine and she.
Said i was a dreamer/Silly heart/ lordy how right.
{That ass was as in the bible} was.lol.Koolaid I like that one Ms Poly girly cool!

THESE POLICE COMMENTS WERE TAKEN OFF ACTUAL CAR VIDEOS AROUND THE COUNTRY:

"You know, the lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They stretch after awhile."

"If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless doucument."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

"You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes sir you cab talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning! You want a warning? OK, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

"In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

"No sir, we don't have quotas any more. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

"Yeah we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

poly that is really funny I'm sending this one to my friend he loved the other one. he gave it to his daughter

Poly girl im holding nature;my pee,lol and its all your fault.lol I clean up cat poop,and i woulden' change a thing t change a thing your a hoot #1.Koolaid,I moved!pretty fast, did i make it???.con't
on another pg,