So I tried dating this weekend, it was really awkward. My jokes not appreciated and I was left nervous paying the tab. I don't feel like myself out there, I feel like I am supposed to perform and impress, I am horrible at impressing, I am much better at disgusting people. But I put on my "nice" clothes and tried being relaxed, she seemed nice, but I seemed like a sweaty crack addict fidgeting around talking way too fast and over compensating for my less than alluring looks constantly asking if she needed or wanted anything, kind of like an over attentive waiter. So after it end with an awkward kiss on the cheek at her doorstep, I went out, got drunk, saw her out, I was a lot less nervous and think she liked me better. I believe I am a better drunk than sober, I mean that's when I'm not boring and my jokes are funny. I just wish I could be the fun guy sober and not care at all. Anyway, I am just doing my usual *****ing, peace.