Most of the time I try not to let things get to me too much but sometimes it doesn't work so well I've also learned to accept the things that cannot be reversed namely death and even though i accept it some nights i find myself wishing my boyfriend were still here he saw me in a light no one ever did and maybe one no one ever will never once did i wonder if i was truely accepted disability, anxiety and all because it was obvious but ever since he's been gone the ignorance of the world has become more obvious. I brush it off and keep going because my friends are amazing but some nights like tonight it feels like one step forward and about 25 back he was such an amazing person and its a shame he lost his life at just 27 because the world can't get along. Sometimes i dont think i realized what i had until suddenly it was all gone before now i forgot what it was like to be lonely to be avoided because i'm a little different it pretty much really blows but i do really appreciate the friends i've made here because everyday gets a little easier those who know and love me do their best to make me laugh and to pick me up when i fall the hardest because of that i've learned to count the blessings in life but still tonight the harder i try not to miss him the more i do...yall are probably sick of me whining and if thats the case im sorry sometimes it just feels better to get it out and to know that yea okay people do care so to those of you who have been there through this first year without him i cannot even begin to tell you how much it means

Vent even if you have to send me a private email. It is good for the soul sometimes.

I'm very sorry to hear about your boyfriend, Smurfy. And you're not whining, you're grieving for someone you miss deeply. My heart goes out to you.

I know that you and I have not talked privately but if you ever need a shoulder Sweety, I am here

I'm sorry you are going thru all that.

thanks you guys

I am so sorry for what you are going through.
That is really tough. Hang in there ok

I know what you are going thru.. I lost both my husband and my mom within 7 months last yr, plus 4 of my husbands best friends passed away....it helps to vent..If it wasn't for some of my friends on here and other sites I wouldn't have made it thru the winter.. there is light at the end of the tunnel and I am now starting to see it...hang in there and talk to your friends.. It does help and it does get better.. bless you and him for giving his life so we can be here...

(((((Nicki)))))

My little sis! You show such amazing courage through everything you've been through. You will be ok, I promise Love you!

I know it will suz tonight just blows i havent had a night like this in awhile

I second that!!

Hang in there Smurfy. For one so young, you have had your share of awful things happening. My heart goes out to you.

Hi there

hey pats hows ur night goin

I'm doing well , just got back from jogging

thats cool