Q: Why are men like blenders?
A: You need one but you're not quite sure why.
Q: Why is food better than a man?
A: You don't have to wait an hour for seconds.

Q: What's a man's idea of helping to make the bed?
A: He gets out..

Q: Why are men and parking spots similar?
A: The good ones are already taken and the ones left are handicapped.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: ONE! men will screw anything.

Q: What do toilet seats, anniversaries and a clitoris have in common?
A: Men miss them all.

Q: How do you keep a man interested after marriage?
A: Wear perfume that smells like beer.

Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A: She starts the sentance with "A man once told me..."

Q: Why did the woman cross the road?
A: That's not the point, what's she doing out of the kitchen?

Q: Did you hear about the guy who finally figured outwomen?
A: He died laughing before he could tell anybody.

Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
A: We don't know it has never happened.

Q: Why are there only snowmen and no snowomen?
A: Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow all
Winter.

Q: Why don't men get Mad Cow disease?
A: Because men are pigs.

Q: Why are guys like lawn mowers?
A: They emit foul odors, are hard to get started, and do not last for
long.

Q: Why are men like laxatives?
A: They irritate the **** out of you.

Q: Why did God create man?
A: Because vibrators don't mow lawns.

Q: What are two reasons men don't mind their own business?
A: No mind-No business.

Q: Why is it hard for a women to find men who are sensitive, caring and
good looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.

Q: How is a man like a snowstorm?
A: You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how
long it will last.

Q: Why are men given larger brains than dogs?
A: So they don't hump women's legs at ****tail parties.

Q: Why can't men get mad cow disease?
A: Because they're all pigs.

Q: What is the main difference between men and boys?
A: Men's toys cost more money


ADAM and Eve joke:

Adam and eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Eve had not been there long
and Adam was trying to get a grasp on the female thing, so he asked God
if they could have a talk. God replied, sure your my son and I love you
can ask me anything.
So Adam asked, God you have given me the beautiful flowers and the
sunset....But I look at Eve and she is so beautiful it takes my breath
away... Why God, did you make eve so beautiful? God replied, my son that
is easy, I made her that way so you would love her, Adam replied well,
it worked but I have another question... I touch the cool water and rub
the furry animals and they feel so good to me but I touch Eve and it is
so wonderful my heart almost stops... God, why did you make her that
way?

God replied well Adam that is easy I made her that way so you’d love
her...well Adam replied, it worked, I do, but God I have one more
question and I don't mean to question your wisdom or anything, but God
she is stupid, why did you make her stupid? God replied my son that is
easy I made her that way so she would love you.

Lmbo!!!!!

Here is one for you!
After the woman gave birth to a baby, her doctor stood solemnly at her
bedside.

"I have something I must tell you about your baby.."

"What's wrong?" the alarmed mother asked.

"Your baby is a hermaphrodite."

"What's that?"

"It means your baby has both male and female parts."

"Oh my God!" the woman exclaimed. "You mean he has a penis and a
brain?"

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
Its an unknown fact they would rather sit in the dark and complain about
it.

After, God created the earth.. He then created man and then he started
to have second thoughts and he said to himself: " Damn, I could of done
better". So god created Woman.