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| Topic: Umm.. maybe a weird question , but... | |
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My husband wants Soup Beans, Fries taters and Corn cakes tonight.
I make this only about twice a year due to His HORRIBLE smell afterwards. It is SO bad that on these nights when we do have them , I sleep in the guest room. 
Any ideas as how I can get the gas out of them ? Or him even , BEANO does not work on him. |
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Please put a bullet in my head.
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Please put a bullet in my head.
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The longer you soak the beans in the fridge the less gaseous they are after you cook them.
Other than that...slip him some beano?
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My husband wants Soup Beans, Fries taters and Corn cakes tonight. I make this only about twice a year due to His HORRIBLE smell afterwards. It is SO bad that on these nights when we do have them , I sleep in the guest room.
Any ideas as how I can get the gas out of them ? Or him even , BEANO does not work on him.
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This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor. She was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you. "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in. |
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How about a gas mask for you?
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This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor. She was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you. "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.
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This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor. She was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you. "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.
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I know !!! Thats why we only have them twice a year. I have NEVER been able to handle "IT". I think I will just burn them or something. LOL! Maybe I should write Julian Mckeath to come check him out? 
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This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor. She was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you. "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in. 
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My husband wants Soup Beans, Fries taters and Corn cakes tonight. I make this only about twice a year due to His HORRIBLE smell afterwards. It is SO bad that on these nights when we do have them , I sleep in the guest room.
Any ideas as how I can get the gas out of them ? Or him even , BEANO does not work on him. |
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Beano?
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I've heard you can put a dash of baking soda in the beans while cooking them. Don't know if it works or not. Good luck!!!
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how about HE sleeps in the guest room instead of you...
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Well actually, I quite like the Guest Room. Very relaxing .
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Isn't it hilarious how you reported Beano doesn't work and at least 3 people suggested it anyway? lol.
Best I could say is cook it, and then go to the beach or go somewhere together where you can be outside. The park or the pool, or something. That way you two can spend some quality time together, considering you just cooked his favorite meal - and maybe cook it for him more often, since it will be in the wind instead of up your nose! Best wishes, Dyanne |
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I've heard you can put a dash of baking soda in the beans while cooking them. Don't know if it works or not. Good luck!!!  I might try that the next time I make bean soup too.
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Isn't it hilarious how you reported Beano doesn't work and at least 3 people suggested it anyway? lol. Best I could say is cook it, and then go to the beach or go somewhere together where you can be outside. The park or the pool, or something. That way you two can spend some quality time together, considering you just cooked his favorite meal - and maybe cook it for him more often, since it will be in the wind instead of up your nose! Best wishes, Dyanne  I did this  after I wrote it in my response. 
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Okay, now I'm curious. You were "never married", yet you have a husband and you're on a singles web sight looking for friends. Okaaaaaay! Am I missing something here? Just curious!
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