Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole?


My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety
of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind
the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at
your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I
turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me
forget.


Tell me one that you know?

The first(and last) time I swore at my Mom. She didn't deserve to hear that stuff coming out of my mouth. Sorry, even 30 years later. Love ya Mom.

This had most of the state of Florida laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a truestory... We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed tohave snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's
that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leavethe set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

D!cks' Outdoor/Sporting Goods...(Nationwide Company)

TRUE story....Over heard a woman IN the store say to another woman.."This d!ck isn't as big as our d!ck at home"

Sorry that was funny.

Well.. mind you I was "highly medicated" during my c-section with my 2nd child. I had the spinal so that my husband at the time could be in the delivery room. Before the medication, my doctor had been asking me if I had any names picked out, I replied, no. I knew I was having a boy, due to the ultrasound. So once the operation was started and he pulled my son out.. it seemed to "me" that everyone had been laughing and things were moving really fast.. I heard my Doctor say something.. in which I started laughing and said: "laugh" I heard you.."laugh" I heard you say penisnuts..

Don't ASK me where that came from?? Good drugs?? lmao It made absolutely NO sense... And he didnt let me forget that on my preop visit either!

you´re lovely...

What about the filthiest thing ever uttered at the Olympics?

Two male announcers are discussing the women's weightlifters. One announces of an aspiring hopeful. "Oh, now watch this, I was in back earlier watching, and this girl has the cleanest snatch I've ever seen."

That aired about 2 pm central. My buddies and I just about died laughing.

This girl, who shall remain nameless, had this jerk of a boyfriend. Boyfriend had hemmoroid surgery. He felt quite a bit of pain after a few days and suggested she removed the bandage and see if it "looked alright". She did this and he goes "do you see anything?" Girl replies, "Just an a@@hole!"

Was golfing with some co-workers and I duffed one into the woods. I was digging thru the pockets in my bag and said "I can't find my balls!". One of the girls grabbed me and said "I found them!". I about died from shock. Funny but i don't think I would take that moment back..

I have a friend that we tease alot cause we were sitting at the bar joking around and he had to leave and when asked why, he said "I have to go home and wait for little **** to come."