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Topic: question about my son
nurjoyce Joined Thu 01/04/07 Posts: 10283	Mon 08/04/08 08:24 PM
I am asking this here because I trust all of you..I have been on JSH/Mingle for over a year and have shared a lot..with much support. Recently my son joined the navy. I knew that was not what he really wanted. He wanted to help his father with money issues. He has been calling his father stating how much he hates it, how degrading they make him feel, how he feels like throwing up every night. Should I assist in getting him out of the navy? it is five years? I would rather he it out, go to college, and be happy. Also how can I assist?

cinderlu57 Joined Fri 11/30/07 Posts: 231	Mon 08/04/08 08:26 PM
Don't think there is a way for you to get him out is there??

jdquig Joined Mon 10/08/07 Posts: 329	Mon 08/04/08 08:27 PM
how long has he been in? and has he ever been away from home before? maybe it is something he needs to adjust to and time might help?

nurjoyce Joined Thu 01/04/07 Posts: 10283	Mon 08/04/08 08:29 PM
how long has he been in? and has he ever been away from home before? maybe it is something he needs to adjust to and time might help? boot camp--

Cinderella75 Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 10049	Mon 08/04/08 08:29 PM
Well,I understand your concern, being ex military, I understand the situation your son is going through...and sad to say that the yelling is quite normal especially in the beginning..all through training really. I personally would let him stick it out...not only is it hard to get out of the military once you are signed up..unless he can be like medically discharged..lol..it is really really hard. But then there are also benfits of staying..if he stays in for at least 3 years he will be entitled to the MGI Bill which will pay for his college pretty much...I know it may seem tough on him right now, but he will get over it. My military days were the best days of my life..I would not trade it for the world..and I forgot all about the yelling..it made me who I am today..without a doubt..I came stronger and tougher out of it.

nurjoyce Joined Thu 01/04/07 Posts: 10283	Mon 08/04/08 08:31 PM
Well,I understand your concern, being ex military, I understand the situation your son is going through...and sad to say that the yelling is quite normal especially in the beginning..all through training really. I personally would let him stick it out...not only is it hard to get out of the military once you are signed up..unless he can be like medically discharged..lol..it is really really hard. But then there are also benfits of staying..if he stays in for at least 3 years he will be entitled to the MGI Bill which will pay for his college pretty much...I know it may seem tough on him right now, but he will get over it. My military days were the best days of my life..I would not trade it for the world..and I forgot all about the yelling..it made me who I am today..without a doubt..I came stronger and tougher out of it. did you hate it at first?

ReconParty19 Joined Sun 10/21/07 Posts: 461	Mon 08/04/08 08:32 PM
Don't think there is a way for you to get him out is there?? tell them he is gay! Of course he hates it there making him into a man!

robert1652 Joined Wed 11/14/07 Posts: 8447	Mon 08/04/08 08:32 PM
Unfortunately once signed up he has to see the term Additionally it makes boys become men though I agree at times prematurely but nevertheless a very useful life experience. You may not like it but he has signed with his own free will and he will learn next time to think things through before signing anything. We learn from our mistakes. Be supportive and tell him to learn as much as he can

itsmetina Joined Sun 12/09/07 Posts: 18944	Mon 08/04/08 08:34 PM
my step brother felt that way at 1st but then it changed,he changed he is a better man today and the military was the best thing that happened he now has skills that pay him well and a way better attitude

robert1652 Joined Wed 11/14/07 Posts: 8447	Mon 08/04/08 08:34 PM
Well,I understand your concern, being ex military, I understand the situation your son is going through...and sad to say that the yelling is quite normal especially in the beginning..all through training really. I personally would let him stick it out...not only is it hard to get out of the military once you are signed up..unless he can be like medically discharged..lol..it is really really hard. But then there are also benfits of staying..if he stays in for at least 3 years he will be entitled to the MGI Bill which will pay for his college pretty much...I know it may seem tough on him right now, but he will get over it. My military days were the best days of my life..I would not trade it for the world..and I forgot all about the yelling..it made me who I am today..without a doubt..I came stronger and tougher out of it. Medical discharge will disadvantage him in future for jobs and not a good idea really.

Texanese Joined Wed 06/27/07 Posts: 87	Mon 08/04/08 08:34 PM
Well,I understand your concern, being ex military, I understand the situation your son is going through...and sad to say that the yelling is quite normal especially in the beginning..all through training really. I personally would let him stick it out...not only is it hard to get out of the military once you are signed up..unless he can be like medically discharged..lol..it is really really hard. But then there are also benfits of staying..if he stays in for at least 3 years he will be entitled to the MGI Bill which will pay for his college pretty much...I know it may seem tough on him right now, but he will get over it. My military days were the best days of my life..I would not trade it for the world..and I forgot all about the yelling..it made me who I am today..without a doubt..I came stronger and tougher out of it. My son's is in the Coast Guard, he's been in for 3 years now. In boot camp he hated it, it was his first time away from home and yes, he got yelled at. I wrote to him like every other day, he told me that getting all the mail really helped. I encouraged him as much as I could. We weren't allowed to send care packages, but we could send pictures - so needless to say he got LOTS of pictures. Now he's having the time of his life - he's going all over the world, in fact his ship just make port in Pusan, Korea yesterday.

Cinderella75 Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 10049	Mon 08/04/08 08:35 PM Edited by Cinderella75 on Mon 08/04/08 08:36 PM
Well,I understand your concern, being ex military, I understand the situation your son is going through...and sad to say that the yelling is quite normal especially in the beginning..all through training really. I personally would let him stick it out...not only is it hard to get out of the military once you are signed up..unless he can be like medically discharged..lol..it is really really hard. But then there are also benfits of staying..if he stays in for at least 3 years he will be entitled to the MGI Bill which will pay for his college pretty much...I know it may seem tough on him right now, but he will get over it. My military days were the best days of my life..I would not trade it for the world..and I forgot all about the yelling..it made me who I am today..without a doubt..I came stronger and tougher out of it. did you hate it at first? Ha ha yes of course..cried home to my parents every chance I could get..my dad is ex-military so he knew all about the yellin, and calmed my mom down..otherwise she would of went nuts..and would of tried to figure out a way to get me out of there..just like you are thinkin about doin for your son.. Its a really BIG REALITY CHECK..and the yelling is normal..its a wakeup call really..and he will come out of it unharmed..they cannot hit him..they just taunt him a little..they call it "Breaking you down"..and then they "Build you back up". It does build confidence..if Basic was easy you would not get that sense of accomplishment once you are done and graduate.

nurjoyce Joined Thu 01/04/07 Posts: 10283	Mon 08/04/08 08:35 PM
my step brother felt that way at 1st but then it changed,he changed he is a better man today and the military was the best thing that happened he now has skills that pay him well and a way better attitude thank you

itsmetina Joined Sun 12/09/07 Posts: 18944	Mon 08/04/08 08:36 PM
my step brother felt that way at 1st but then it changed,he changed he is a better man today and the military was the best thing that happened he now has skills that pay him well and a way better attitude thank you

nurjoyce Joined Thu 01/04/07 Posts: 10283	Mon 08/04/08 08:36 PM
Well,I understand your concern, being ex military, I understand the situation your son is going through...and sad to say that the yelling is quite normal especially in the beginning..all through training really. I personally would let him stick it out...not only is it hard to get out of the military once you are signed up..unless he can be like medically discharged..lol..it is really really hard. But then there are also benfits of staying..if he stays in for at least 3 years he will be entitled to the MGI Bill which will pay for his college pretty much...I know it may seem tough on him right now, but he will get over it. My military days were the best days of my life..I would not trade it for the world..and I forgot all about the yelling..it made me who I am today..without a doubt..I came stronger and tougher out of it. did you hate it at first? Ha ha yes of course..cried hometo my parents every chance I could get..my dad is exmilitary so he knew all about the yellin,and calmed my mom down..otherwise she would of went nuts..and would of tried to figureout a way to get me out of there..just like you.. Its a really BIG REALITY CHECK..and the yelling is normal..its a wakeup call really..and hewillcome out of it unharmed..they cannot hit him..they just taunt him a little..they call it "Breaking you down"..and then they "Build you back up". It does build confidence..if Basic was easy you would not get that sense of accomplishment once you are done and graduate. thank you!!! i needed to hear that

crzy66 Joined Sat 07/07/07 Posts: 179	Mon 08/04/08 08:37 PM
You should let him stick it out. Being ex military. Only a few ways to get out. And i do not think any of them he would try. Stop and consider, HE made the choice to go and sign the papers to enlist. Choices we make in life is what makes us strong no matter right or wrong ones. If he is in danger enough they will let me go for his own health reasons. The military is fair. Being at boot camp is very tough and rough. I remember those days well. Even tho they were many years ago.

crzy66 Joined Sat 07/07/07 Posts: 179	Mon 08/04/08 08:38 PM
Saying your GAY does not work anymore

nurjoyce Joined Thu 01/04/07 Posts: 10283	Mon 08/04/08 08:39 PM
i just can not imagine being somewhere and crying and throwing up every night because i hate it!!!!!! it just hurts me so and is very upsetting to me.

Cinderella75 Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 10049	Mon 08/04/08 08:49 PM
i just can not imagine being somewhere and crying and throwing up every night because i hate it!!!!!! it just hurts me so and is very upsetting to me. Well he is not the only one that is feeling that way in bootcamp..just know that he is not alone..and there are about 50 other guys and girls that are going through the same thing he is going through..and they talk about it amongst each other..its just a little rough at first..but he will get used to it I promise..

nurjoyce Joined Thu 01/04/07 Posts: 10283	Mon 08/04/08 08:51 PM
i just can not imagine being somewhere and crying and throwing up every night because i hate it!!!!!! it just hurts me so and is very upsetting to me. Well he is not the only one that is feeling that way in bootcamp..just know that he is not alone..and there are about 50 other guys and girls that are going through the same thing he is going through..and they talk about it amongst each other..its just a little rough at first..but he will get used to it I promise.. i really appreciate you and everyone here--- you all are wonderful! and i always seem to be able to find comfort when i need it.