Well hello, there!

As we take our little tour of what we laughingly refer to as "The
Friendly City", I would like to remind everyone to keep their hands and
feet inside the bus at all times, and please to not feed the animals any
beer. Trust me, they'll follow you home.

Now, if you'll look to your left, you'll notice this towns only claim to
fame, which is based on a dime store. That's it. There's no joke. A dime
store is the towns major employer.

If you care to look to your right, the first thing you'll notice is
trees. Many, many wonderful trees. If you look closely enough, you'll
also notice several people in camo with rifles. These are indiginous to
this area, and shouldn't cause you any trouble unless you shout out the
words "Dale", "Pick-Up", or the aforementioned "Beer".

As we move along in what is quickly becoming a very depressing tour,
you'll also notice the lack of stop lights. That's because the dead
center of this town is a four way stop. That's right...Downtown has four
stop signs...not that anyone ever uses them, seeing as most seem to have
gotten their drivers licenses by sending in box-tops from grits.

You'll also notice the incredible amount of traffic. How this is
possible is beyond me, but NASA gave up studying it long ago, simply
saying "Huh...weird." Where anyone could possibly be going to in this
town was a mystery that was featured in a 1987 episode of Unsolved
Mysteries, and only one person called in to say that they were going for
more beer, since it's a dry county.

Another thing you'll notice is the vast amount of churches. Given the
ratio of churches to population, then each church must have a
congregation of less than a single person, which might get messy. Again,
I have no idea how this is accomplished, but then again, it's a
church...so anything is possible.

Next come the Car Mechanics. Yes indeed...there are Car Mechanics as far
as the eye can see. Now, you're about to ask "Why so many?" Well, the
best guess is that each person in this town has their own personal Car
Mechanic, thereby making the numbers even out. It's been suggested by
some Conservationist groups that it might be a good idea to cull the
herd a bit, so as not to damage the natural vehicular ecosystem; but
this was ruled out since most of them don't actually seem to know what
they are doing anyway.

Also, as we get into what I laughingly refer to as the "rural" part of
town, you'll notice many...many...MANY satellite dishes. Not the little
tiny ones, either. No...we're talking 7' Mesh or bigger. Seriously, I
thought I had walked into the movie "Contact" before I realized this was
going to last longer and be more boring, at which point I developed a
nervous twitch in my frontal lobe.

Well, that's about the end of the tour, and I know you're just as happy
as I am about it. On a final note, I have to say that I do seem to be
the only single person in this one-horse, backwoods, yee-hawing town.
When you do return to civilization, please send a date down here.

...I have beer.

~Gangrel

Good luck..

very funny

Too cute!! Keep em coming