It has always been easier to give advice than take it. Trust me,I know only too well.

But,.......When you see a love one struggle and you have the answers, but know that those answers will not help the situation but, only make it worse, it ripes you shred.

I have a family member that is traveling down a dangerous path searching for love in all the wrong places. She is putting herself in situations that are very dangerous. We all worry about her. She is a good person and has a great heart, but she is searching for something that will fill that void.

Unfortunately, she does not know that nothing will fill that void until she learns to love herself. It is hard to watch her struggle. I worry if she will find herself in more and more in trouble but, also know that no amount of wisdom or advice will help. Instead, it will only drive a wedge between us. She will need to be able to make her own mistakes.

All I can do is keep my door open & let her know that I will always care about her.

Anyone else or any other families facing the same kind of troubles?

If you feel she is "putting herself in dangerous situations" I would definately take the risk to share your concern, in a KIND way. That comes from a good place~ your heart.

My mom is similiar, she gambles, she drinks a lot, to escape herself I think. She refuses to face her past, she had an abortion many years ago, and I know it still bothers her. She's talked about hating her job, hating her life, etc. It pains me to see her like that.

Been there with a family member down that road before,just have to risk a wedge between them and keep on them tirelessly,fortunately there problem was solved and we are tighter because of it..tough problem trying to remake a mindset,but its worse if u dont try at all.My way worked but maybe in that situation it wont,i dont know the person

Trust me if I would, but it would only make matters worse.
She is desperate for love. Besides, there are memembers of the family that have, but that has only caused tension.

In this case, she has to learn for herself.
Besides, I think it is at the point where she may feel gang up against if we all tell her how to live her life. She is adult but, still very yung in so many ways. She needs to know that she has a safe haven to go to without judgement.

Thus, I keep mouth shut (which is rare) while I keep the light on and m door always open to her.

Thank you for caring.

My heart goes out to you. Seeing a parent or child suffer is one of the hardest things in life.

When you see a parent suffer so, it is deeply rooted in the child psyche to want to heal or save the parent. The sad truth is that as the child, regardless if you have the right answers or not, the parent cannot find the truth unless it comes from within the parent and not the child.

My heart goes out to you both!!!!!

Having been down that very road...unfortunately there are no words that will drive them away from the decisions. Most you can do is try your best to keep them safe and let them wade through the problem. I've seen friends face the same path, and did the same thing...if they can't see the light on their own, the light wasn't worth showing to them in the first place.

Great User Name!!!!!!!

In this case, it will only make things worse. She does not respond to lectures very well or advice. Stories on how it was for me or so and so do not work also. These things all lead to a greater gap.

She tends to respond better to "acceptance" and "understanding". The key is to be a role model and give advice that doesn't sound like advice!

She is smart but, she needs to have confidence & self value.

So very true. It just hard to watch them as you hope that life doesn't kill the sunshine from within.