1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent
you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze
button.

2. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then
you will be afraid to cough.

3. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by
getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

4. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat
by simply using the sink.

5. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and
bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Remember to use a Timer.

6. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you
will forget about the toothache.

good one!

I need to try #1

OMG!!!! to funny! thanks for the laugh!