I need some advice on how to deal with this issue. My 14 yr. old
daughter passed away 2 yrs ago. I'm finding I'm uncomfortable being
around children now, especially girls. I was dating a wonderful man
last year and things got serious. He had a 12 yr old daughter. She was
a wonderful girl but I did not allow myself to get close to her at all.
Making a long story short, I chose to end the relationship because the
thought of being a stepmom scared the hell out of me! He could have
been "The One" for me. Am I crazy? Most single men my age have
children and I seem to be avoiding them if they do. Do I need a shrink?
I'm not sure how to get over this. Any advice would be greatly
appreciated

Well talking about it will help and yes a pro will help but if u think
he was the one go for coupble councling. I THINK u would be a great step
mom ask his daughter what she thinks u might have hurt her more then u
may have thought of not only that what about his fellings to about u
could had scard him for live think be for you leap is what i was all
ways told dean

dizzydean is right, talking about it does help but I think you should
also seek professional help. The lost of a child is a terrible thing. I
can understand why you won't allow yourself to get close to other
children. It's only been two years and you're still going through a lot
of pain. You have to deal with this now, so you can go on with your
life. As you say: most single guys your age have children. Get help now.
And 'NO' I don't think you're crazy at all.

I AM SORRY FOR YOUR LOST, AND I PRAY THAT YOU GET THROUGH THIS. I DON'T
HAVE ANY EXPERIANCE IN THE LOSS OF A CHILD. I DO KNOW THAT WHEN
SOMETHING AS TRADGIC AS THIS HAPPENS, THAT TALKING ABOUT IT WITH OTHERS
REALLY HELPS. ESPECIALLY IF YOU CAN FIND OTHERS WHO HAVE GONE THROUGH
THE SAME THING. A PROFESSIONAL WILL HELP ALSO.
MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU.

TIGERMAN1956

i think u should deffinitly talk to someone. a counselor of some sort
would help you deal with it better and teach you how to cope. i would
be scared too. have you explained to that guy you were seeing how you
felt about getting close to his daughter? would be sad to loose a love
without trying to work it out and maybe it would help you get through
your loss. you are not crazy! loosing a child is hard to move on from.
professional help i think is the answer to help you move on with our
life, moving on is they key sweetie. you didnt pass away with her. live
for her memories! good luck!

Thank you all so much for your advice! I've been involved with a couple
of online support groups and they have helped me tremendously! I have
moved on pretty well with everything else except this. I obviously
should get in touch with a professional. I guess I just need more time
before I get involved with anyone. I just get really lonely sometimes.
Anyway, thanks again to you all. I'm new here at JSH and my experience
so far has been good. It's really nice to get other peoples
perspectives. Everyone have a great evening!

Ck. your local YWCA, they might be able to give you some ideas on where
to find someone to talk to

in memory of your daughter. Sweetie get out the phone
book and most every hospital has meetings for loss of family. Its free.
Heres a GREAT BIG SISTER HUG!!!

you cant let fear run your life. you cant live in the past. you are
missing out in a lot of ways on alot of things. pull up your bootstaps
an get a move on your going to be ok

I can't imagine the pain of loosing a child especially at the age of
twelve, my heart goes out to you.
Proffessinoal help wuld not hurt, but just a thought, you might sit
down with this guy and his daughter and explain what is going on with
you and who knows, his daughter may be more help to you in this matter,
it is really amazing what a child can do.