Giving .........head....... massages the jaw....while burning 32
calories.

Swallowing foreign body juices is actually like taking vitamins and it
whitens your teeth

The American Dental Association says that semen cuts plaque better than
mouth wash, so suck a **** and save a smile.

Having nice sex burns 358 calories.

Having rough sex [make it hurt] burns 543 calories.

Take off her clothes
with her consent.........................12 cal
without......................187 cal

Take off her Bra
With two hands..........................8 cal
With one hand.........................12 cal
With mouth.............................85 cal

Put on Protection
hard ........................... 6 cal
soft..........................315 cal

Foreplay
Looking for target...................8 cal
Finding G spot ......................92 cal
I don't F***ing care.....................0 cal

Entry
Holding her..................12 cal
On the floor.................8 cal

With Different Position
Missionary..........................358 cal
Doggy...........................316 cal
69 lying...............................286 cal
69 standing.............................512 cal
Italian hanger.........................912 cal

Orgasm
Real................................112 cal
Faking................................315 cal

After "O"
Lying in Bed............................18 cal
Hop off the bed............................36 cal
Wondering why she left pissed off...........816 cal

Get dressed
Quiet and calm...........................32 cal
Rushing.........................98 cal
Heard her boyfriend opening the door.............1218 cal
Heard her dad at the door.............1942 cal
Her mom walking in..............................Priceless!!!LOL

OMFGS!!!!

Too Funny!!!!

thats awesome. except i always gain all the calories back, cus sex gives
me the munchies. a good o always has me lookin for the cookie jar. lol