I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars
thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women
with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I
don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads
to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love
me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that ni ght, I went
to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend
time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she
tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide
which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new
shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for
each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair
of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must
have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she
was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she d oesn't
even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine,
honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I
think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I
don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I
buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....

Thanks for the laugh

That is seriously F**ked up........too funny though....read it to a couple of guys and they died laughing

That was epic.

My ex sent it to me.....she didn't say there was a reason for sending it....