Yo momma's so fat, she makes Free Willie look like a tic tac

Yo momma's so fat, when we played hide and seek I spotted her behind the Himalayas

Yo momma's so fat, when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 commercials

Yo momma's so fat, the whale from Free Willie freed her

Yo momma's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale

Yo momma's so fat, when she steps on the scale it says one at a time please

Yo momma's so fat, when she steps on the scale it says sorry we don't do livestock

Yo momma's so fat, when she bends over we miss 2 days of sunlight

Yo momma's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she gets an estimate

Yo momma's so fat, at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies " yes please"

Yo momma's so fat, when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her back in the water.

Yo momma's so fat, when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan.

Yo momma's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.

Yo momma's so fat, when she comes in your house the tires pop.

Yo momma's so fat, she don't know whether she's walking or rolling.

Yo momma's so fat, when she tiptoes, everyone yells "Stampede!"

Yo momma's so fat, when she farts the whole planet came out.

Yo momma's so fat, she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic.

Yo momma's so fat, her car is made of spandex.

Yo momma's so fat, we're inside her right now.

Yo momma's so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.

Yo momma's so fat, one day when she got in a fight the person fighting her got lost in her.

Yo momma's so fat, when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.

Yo momma's so fat, one day she was lifting up her rolls and a car fell out.

Yo momma's so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes.

Yo momma's so fat, when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo momma's so fat, she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.

Yo momma's so fat, all the chairs in her house have seatbelts.

Yo momma's so fat, she smells like bacon at 90 degrees.

Yo momma's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.

Yo momma's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has friends come help.

Yo mama' so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's her forearm, neck, and thigh!

Yo momma's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

Yo momma's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.

Yo momma's so fat, when she dances she makes the band skip.

Yo momma's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.

Yo momma's so fat, when she works at the movie theatre, she works as the screen.

Yo momma's so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.

Yo momma's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.

Yo momma's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"

Yo momma's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Yo momma's so fat, instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.

Yo momma's so fat, instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.

Yo momma's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.

Yo momma's so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.

Yo momma's so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.

Yo momma's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.

Yo momma's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

Yo momma's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

Yo momma's so fat, her picture takes two frames.

Yo momma's so fat, when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall.

Yo momma's so fat, she could sell shade.

Yo momma's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

Yo momma's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.

Very very good my friend!!!

How rude!!!!

Jokes and funny stories thread. I repeat, this is the JOKES and FUNNY STORIES thread.

That's fine too. But as I remember I have the right to my own opinion, and the right to voice it. Not to mention that my Mother is deceased.

i agree its still rude because some people dont take it has a joke.

Thank You!!

You are entitled to your opinion. And sorry about your mother. But my opinion is that there are too many people that take things out of context. Nothing was stated about anyones mother. They are jokes. You shouldn't be reading jokes because there will be something that would offend someone in just about any joke. Just my opinion.

As I see it it's not up to you or anyone else to tell me what I should and should not read. I am not offended by any jokes. But I also do not see the need to make fun of anyone either.
Making fun of anyone for any reason is just rude and unncessary.

I agree. But they aren't "making fun" of someone or group. It's an old joke that started decades ago. It's more urban than anything. not against Mothers.

But to each his or her own.

Funniest thing I've heard all day!!

Is your Mother still living? Is she your best friend in whole world? If she is still here I understand why you do not see it as I do.

It's even funnier because he pissed someone off. Maybe he should have used "My momma's so fat...."

My Mother is still living. But even if she wasn't, he did not say anything about my mother

And alive or deceased, I would never let anybody say anything negative about my mother. But, like I said before, no one has so it's all good on my behalf.

FYI, I am not pissed off as you put it. I just think some of you people in here say some of the most senseless things immaginable, it's just crazy.
And maybe once your Mother passes, you too will understand my point. Unless of course the two of you are not as close as I was to my Mother, and still am.
It's just sad the way people are today.
And I don't care that it was something that was started decades ago, it's rude, cruel and pointless.

Never said anyone was pissed.

Ok. Sorry your offended.

That was not aimed at you, read naptown123lover post.

lmao hahaha she's just like here profile name....
P M S 64 times a day hahahahahaha



btw yes you are entitled to your own opinion but doesn't mea you have the right to take out your anger on the people of this site just because somethings gone screwy in your life.