Even if I hold my breath and count 1, 2, 3 there’s still
X Y Z right behind me
Catching up with my anxiety
Recommending to me variety to
Undo these boredom plagued days
Calling out my birth given name and
In between screams they
Announce that this isn’t a game and
They tell me this isn’t a dream and that
I should stop with the charade and
Now I’m in my favorite place to be:
Guilt-ridden because of my fantasies I
Crossed the lines and I
Omitted wrong and right and that’s why
My fantasies instead of yours have been
Perfected and brought to life
Remorse, my distant cousin
Only now stops to call me he
Must have done his research and maybe on the
Internet he saw me
Skipping down the streets
Ecstatic with my sister, hedonism –but why must he
Call me? Why not my brother,
Absolute realism who has
Neglected to
Indulge himself and despite
Reality he has lost himself in his
Eternal pursuit of
All that is pure
List for me again the reasons why
List them just once more
You just have to understand that
Religion requires only faith, just like any other
Invention
Still born, you can be saved but
Kissing me doesn’t make anything go away, it doesn’t mean
That you love me or
Hate me just the same because it’s all
Irrelevant –you know, you
Shouldn’t believe everything ‘they’ say

again nice acrostic with a message

Brilliant!

Good work, the acrostic really adds to the poem and brings it life. You took the form and made it your own.

Your internal rhyme complements your rhythm exquisitely, making your words dream-like. Captivating.

Personally, I would add a break after the line, 'All that is pure' to help transition from your internal monologue (or confession) to speaking to another person (the still born that, I assume, doesn't see the X Y Z approaching).

Then again, I guess that may mess with your acrostic.

Thank you J



I really appreciate the input! I read this poem over and over with that same consideration in mind.

Anytime.

It would take some maneuvering, but I think the line break would work especially well if it came between words in the acrostic, accentuating the 'Risk This'.

Either way, I like it as is. That's just something to consider if you want to mess around with it more.

As Paul Valery said, "A poem is never finished, only abandoned."