why when you break up does the other party have to bash how you you raise the child?when you were with them you were the best.i have been dealing with this for almost 4 years. and what does this teach the child in life?i think this is one of the worst things you could do to children.what do you think?

It's there childish way of having control over you...just brush it off and go on...be the adult...as they grow...they notice things...good luck

Dragging a child into any of your fights with an EX is not ok.. it isnt good for them ..A parent telling the other that they arent a good parent or belittling they way they care for the child is simply just to hurt you..

What else could measure up to that? What else on this planet could make you feel as bad as feeling like you dont care for your child?

It s a good mind ****...

yea i try to brush it off but when the police get involved it gets hard.

Both my kids figured out after a while that the other was full of crap, as actions really DO speak louder than words and empty & broken promises. It is extremely hurtful, though, like you say, as that person never once questioned or derailed my parenting skills prior to the break up. It's just mean stuff.

i have never broke one promise or lied to my child in 7 years.accept for a dog we had to put down

YOu just do what is right and the rest will follow in time. It may not seem that way, but patience sometimes really is a virtue.

Actions always speak louder than words. The kids will grow up and see who did for them and who lied.

I think it is horrible when one parent bashes the other. I never say anything negative about my ex, EVER... because I PICKED HIM.

Of most importance is the child. If there are issues with how one parent is raising the child it should be discussed by the adults.

IMO, to question her parenting skills, or her lack of love/devotion to her children is the cruelest way to 'punish' a mother, and some men delight in it.

Knowing it's not REALLY about you as a Mom, but rather about their anger towards you and the situation doesn't make it hurt any less when it happens, however, does it?! I'm sorry you've been going through it for so long -- my heart goes out to you, it really does.

I can't believe some of the crazy sh!t mine says & it's been 3 years, the best part is her friends now realize , she's f*cked in the head.....it's the simple things that make me happy

But it is sooooo hard to bit my lip sometimes!

I totally agree with both statements, I dont say anything bad about my daughters father in front of her, but she knows how he is.

I agree! My kids were 1 and 4 when their dad and I divorced. I never said anything bad about him, because I figured our problems had nothing to do with the kids, and they should be able to love both of us. Through the years, I'm afraid they did learn what his priorities were, and it wasn't them. Sad---wish he could have been a better dad, but I think he didn't know how. He lived with lots of regrets the last 15 yrs. of his life, and passed away 18 mos. ago, a very lonely person. Sad situation for him and my sons!

I noe realize I was lucky that my ex disapeared & would not have anything to do with us. I didn't have to deal with this. My daughter met her father at 25. She called me & thanked me for not letting him raise her.

There have been issues with other family members. Everyone seems to be an expert on raising kids & No one is ever good enough. The only thing you can do is try to not discuss it in front of the kids. They can be masters of manipulation!

Isnt it amazing how the simple things make us happy. Joint friends stopped talking to me because of the things the ex was saying. Then one day one of them came up to me and appologised for believing all the lies. See even grown ups learn to see the truth.

They bash you because they know that the only thing that you two still have that you care about. It's a senseless and immature game.

One that sad to say I deal with daily. My ex cant have me back so my daughter pays the price.

that is what i am talking about why do they have to bash in front of the child.i wish that if you break up dont use the child to get back at the other.