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| Topic: Dear diary......omg another diary!!! - part 95 | |
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Dear Diary;
I had to get a physical exam today before before i start my new job. And i was in for a surprise since i've never had to take one before today. It started out pretty calm with a hearing test, where i hear a tone and press a button, while inside a modified phone booth. I got a score of 33 out of 60 which means i have bad hearing. No surprise there i've had ear problems all my life. Then came the eye exam which was easy. I just had to read a poster across the room, read the letters and then close one eye, read it again, and close the other and read it again. Then came the horrible surprise. They had to draw blood. I tried to reason with the nurse saying that blood is inside the body, and has nothing to do with my physical well being. But she didn't buy that told me to squeeze a foam donkey while she drew blood. I swear that foam donkey will never fluff back into its original shape because i was squeezing the life out of it. Afterward came the normal pee test which i've done a million times for different jobs. I never understood why i have to take everything out of my pockets and lock it up, then wash my hands THEN pee in the cup and wait for results until I'm allowed to wash my hands again! Did i mention i couldn't flush the toilet either!? Everything my Mom taught me about potty training was thrown out the window, and afterward i washed my hands twice in a row. So far i passed everything (mostly) and it was time to see the doctor. He was cool and asked me if i had trouble walking, climbing, bending over, running up stairs, etc, and i told him no. So he told me to take off my shirt so he could check my heartbeat and such. But the worse part came when he told me to.... TAKE OFF MY PANTS O_O He told me it was to check for a hernia, and i told him I'm hernia free because i have no pains walking. And he told me to just let him do it. And we argued for 10 mins before he told me to drop the pants or he wouldn't let me pass the exams. So i had to let him.....and it was horrible. This new job better be worth all that 
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Dear Diary; I had to get a physical exam today before before i start my new job. And i was in for a surprise since i've never had to take one before today. It started out pretty calm with a hearing test, where i hear a tone and press a button, while inside a modified phone booth. I got a score of 33 out of 60 which means i have bad hearing. No surprise there i've had ear problems all my life. Then came the eye exam which was easy. I just had to read a poster across the room, read the letters and then close one eye, read it again, and close the other and read it again. Then came the horrible surprise. They had to draw blood. I tried to reason with the nurse saying that blood is inside the body, and has nothing to do with my physical well being. But she didn't buy that told me to squeeze a foam donkey while she drew blood. I swear that foam donkey will never fluff back into its original shape because i was squeezing the life out of it. Afterward came the normal pee test which i've done a million times for different jobs. I never understood why i have to take everything out of my pockets and lock it up, then wash my hands THEN pee in the cup and wait for results until I'm allowed to wash my hands again! Did i mention i couldn't flush the toilet either!? Everything my Mom taught me about potty training was thrown out the window, and afterward i washed my hands twice in a row. So far i passed everything (mostly) and it was time to see the doctor. He was cool and asked me if i had trouble walking, climbing, bending over, running up stairs, etc, and i told him no. So he told me to take off my shirt so he could check my heartbeat and such. But the worse part came when he told me to.... TAKE OFF MY PANTS O_O He told me it was to check for a hernia, and i told him I'm hernia free because i have no pains walking. And he told me to just let him do it. And we argued for 10 mins before he told me to drop the pants or he wouldn't let me pass the exams. So i had to let him.....and it was horrible. This new job better be worth all that You've never had a physical before? 
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OMG !! CLOUDY!! what would you do if you where a WOMAN!?!?!
pap smears , child birth , oh they gotta check yur bum ...  that wasnt so bad I could tell you a few things ......I think I just did , ya wanna hear more????   |
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no feet up in the stirups??
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He didn't even get the finger up the bum and he's complaining.
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Nope, never had a physical before today which is why i'm so surprised by everything involved. I thought they would throw me on a tread mill and tell me to run for a length of time. And i hate getting blood drawn that i almost threw up when the nurse told me she would have to do that. At least she was gentle about it, I've been to hospitals that just jab your arm and look for a vein that way.
But as a woman your prepared for it because other women tell you about it. Its like women are programed into a super computer of knowledge only for women. O_O |
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Nope, never had a physical before today which is why i'm so surprised by everything involved. I thought they would throw me on a tread mill and tell me to run for a length of time. And i hate getting blood drawn that i almost threw up when the nurse told me she would have to do that. At least she was gentle about it, I've been to hospitals that just jab your arm and look for a vein that way. But as a woman your prepared for it because other women tell you about it. Its like women are programed into a super computer of knowledge only for women. O_O Did they give you the breathing test ? |
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Nope, never had a physical before today which is why i'm so surprised by everything involved. I thought they would throw me on a tread mill and tell me to run for a length of time. And i hate getting blood drawn that i almost threw up when the nurse told me she would have to do that. At least she was gentle about it, I've been to hospitals that just jab your arm and look for a vein that way. But as a woman your prepared for it because other women tell you about it. Its like women are programed into a super computer of knowledge only for women. O_O Did they give you the breathing test ? No they didn't. The doctor just told me to breath in deep? |
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Nope, never had a physical before today which is why i'm so surprised by everything involved. I thought they would throw me on a tread mill and tell me to run for a length of time. And i hate getting blood drawn that i almost threw up when the nurse told me she would have to do that. At least she was gentle about it, I've been to hospitals that just jab your arm and look for a vein that way. But as a woman your prepared for it because other women tell you about it. Its like women are programed into a super computer of knowledge only for women. O_O nobody prepaired me for THAT stuff my mom NEVER talked about lady stuff BELIEVE ME my first child birth was like WHOA!! OMG !!! I AM VERY SHY !!! 
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Nope, never had a physical before today which is why i'm so surprised by everything involved. I thought they would throw me on a tread mill and tell me to run for a length of time. And i hate getting blood drawn that i almost threw up when the nurse told me she would have to do that. At least she was gentle about it, I've been to hospitals that just jab your arm and look for a vein that way. But as a woman your prepared for it because other women tell you about it. Its like women are programed into a super computer of knowledge only for women. O_O nobody prepaired me for THAT stuff my mom NEVER talked about lady stuff BELIEVE ME my first child birth was like WHOA!! OMG !!! I AM VERY SHY !!! Purple is shy? Wow i never heard that, your pretty dominate in the diary, like a queen or something lol. But when i grew up my mom would have talks to my sisters who were coming of age and one time i hid under the bed to hear what they were talking about (I was 10 years old) and i swear I wanted to puke so bad during that, but i didn't want to come out because the females in the house are very aggressive lol |
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Nope, never had a physical before today which is why i'm so surprised by everything involved. I thought they would throw me on a tread mill and tell me to run for a length of time. And i hate getting blood drawn that i almost threw up when the nurse told me she would have to do that. At least she was gentle about it, I've been to hospitals that just jab your arm and look for a vein that way. But as a woman your prepared for it because other women tell you about it. Its like women are programed into a super computer of knowledge only for women. O_O nobody prepaired me for THAT stuff my mom NEVER talked about lady stuff BELIEVE ME my first child birth was like WHOA!! OMG !!! I AM VERY SHY !!! I went to all the appointments and classes with my ex. She wanted to be all natural and no drugs. 30 minutes into labor she was like epideral, drugs,morphine,oxycotine, anything. |
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LOTS of allergies NO MEDS for this chic during child birth OUCH!/
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The woman in the next room ripped the side rail off the bed and started swinging it at the nurse while giving birth. She was a big woman.
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some woman LOOOSE IT!!
when my last child born the doctor was singing "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU !!" it was so sweet and funny !! THAT doc was AWESOME the nurse delivered my second child , the doctor was having dinner AND SHE DROPPED HER !!!
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some woman LOOOSE IT!! when my last child born the doctor was singing "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU !!" it was so sweet and funny !! THAT doc was AWESOME the nurse delivered my second child , the doctor was having dinner AND SHE DROPPED HER !!! I was dropped as I pissed all over the doctor. He was handing me to the nurse and I let it go. I went to the floor. My mom said it was my 1st laugh. |
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Bedtime.
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G'night
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hmmmmmmmmm
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I was just about born in the TOILET! so there!!
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