Good news, you're not in a 'rut'. You'd have to be male, and be a deer
for that - a "rut" is when the male deers are responding to the female's
heat. So, you should feel better already.

You're stuck in the groove of purposeless-ness, lacking inspiration and
direction, and not knowing what to do about it. Same here. I wish I had
some real advice for you.

Try to get regular sleep patterns. Try to be mindful of what you eat and
its effect on your mood/alertness (caffine, and sugar make a big
difference). Force yourself into routines - sign up for classes, or
volunteer programs - something/anything to 'force' yourself into a
regular routine of interacting with other ppl.

Ignore that nagging desire to withdraw from being around ppl, even when
that nagging turns to a loud screaming "I wanna get the he11 outta here"
sensation.

I think that forcing yourself into interaction is the key. It seems to
be helpful for me. I'm also terribly shy, and lost in a sea of 'what the
he11 am I gonna do now?" feeling. Struggle through it, give yourself
acheivable goals - from simple to complex. Pursue them. Give yourself
some focus.

uh-huh




















































































what?

Cat, get some motivational books, read them, journal, ck. you local YWCA
for a womens group, read grief support books, ck. on a grief support
group, Y may have or know of a good counselor.

Only those that have lost a child or sig.other understand how dig of a
shock that is. I lost most of 2 yrs. & people are still telling me of
things I did. Thought I was pretty strong but learned different. So now
I read a lot, walk, bottom line had to force myself to get in gear & do
something to help myself. Still doing that & helping others, really
enjoying life now but have to work at it everyday. Questions mail me,
can never have to amny friends.

Got pets? Hobbies? I realize that sounds pretty common but they do
help. Regardless of what type of animal or hobby, it makes you have to
think about something other than what you're going through. They also
have to be maintained so you have to get out and get what you need for
them and it forces you to interact with other people.
They way I look at it is life is like a big sh#t sandwhich and each day
to take another bite, but then somebody else comes along and makes yours
look like a snack! So count your blessings and get back on that horse
and ride!

Hey Cat and Countrygirl, can I join you? My last very best friend
"dumped me on Christmas Eve because she felt I was flirting too much
with her live-in boyfriend, and I made her feel uncomfortable. Talk
about being blind-sided. I never saw it coming and she never could give
me a specific event that may have caused this. I thought this sort of
behavior stopped in high school. I'm 60 years old for God's sake!!!!!

I sincerely appreciate everyone's input on the subject of my "rut"
situation. I am currently trying to get enrolled in some classes at the
Jr College we have here in town....more along the lines of my career
field. I know once the weather starts to warm up I will definatly be
spending more time outdoors....preferably fishing if at all possible.
I've beem telling myself for at least the past 2 years I was going to
get back into doing some of my hobbies that I once enjoyed doing and
slowly but surely that will all come together.

Sushi you can come join Kntrygirl any time, we can even share the oar!

Thanks again everybody.