My friends are over... our cooters dont itch & we are bored... so entertain us someone plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!

My next show is in one hour.

Well an Irishman walks into the pub and ask's the bartender.......... Uh oh I forgot the rest of it.

how can you tell if she is wearing panties or not

A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar.

But what the heck, he says to himself, 'I can really use a drink.'

When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, 'What's the name of your wee wee?'

The cowboy says, 'Look, I'm not into any of that, all I want is a drink.'

The gay waiter says, 'I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your wee wee. Mine for instance is called Nike, for the slogan 'Just Do It,' and that guy down at the end of the bar calls his Snickers, because it really 'Satisfies.'

The cowboy looks dumbfounded so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over.

So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left, who is sipping on a beer, 'Hey bud, what's the name of yours?' The man looks back and says with a smile 'Timex,' and the thirsty cowboy asks, 'Why Timex?' The fella proudly replies, 'Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin!'

A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fellas on his right, who happen to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, 'So, what do you guys call yours?'
The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, 'FORD, because Quality is Job One.' Then he adds, 'Have you driven a Ford lately?'
The guy next to him then says, 'I call mine CHEVY, 'Like A Rock.' and gives a wink.

Even more shaken the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name. He exclaims, 'The name of my wee wee is 'SECRET.' Now give me a beer.'

The bartender begins to pour the Cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look asked, 'Why Secret?'

The cowboy says, 'Because it's STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN

come on over,i'll scratch it for ya

U are so adorable.I wuv U my bearific friend

Thank you.

Cooters O' Death