Okay, I am not sure certain on the etiquette of attending a funeral. I have an uncle who is dying (though I have been praying hard for him) not sure about the arrangements my mother is asking of me. She wants me to help watch over him and I am not really that close to him. Yeah, I cried when she told me he is dying, because he fell apart after his marriage failed and has been a lone wolf who has been drowning his whole life in a sea of alcohol and smoking.

My mom is worried about me because I smoke, which I could understand and working slowly, but will eventually quit. Anyways, I have also had a friend who's dad I sort of new pass away and he didn't invite me to the funeral. I am not even sure if he is upset at me for not attending (even though I wasn't invited or knew about when it was going to happen). I am clueless on how funerals should be for those who knew the deceased but not that close. They make me sad and I only want to be at the funerals of those I was close to and those to attend who were close to me. I wouldn't ask of anyone who didn't know me as well to be there, because I know they have more important things to do.

I would just be pleased with knowing my close friends (a select few that one hand can hold) and my siblings or parents to attend (assuming I die before them). That's it.

So should I honor my mother (being the God fearing man that I am) and watch over my uncle? I feel bad for the guy, I want him to be respected and loved by everyone, but death is not something I can handle. Perhaps this is a way to prepare me for the future deaths I am going to have to deal with as I grow older?


What are your thoughts? Those of you who actually read all of this? Mainly, about attending funerals and your rules on that. Everyone has rules about things. I know I do.



--Faust

u should go watch over him........

u should go watch over him........

Do as your mother request's. Attending funeral's is out of respect for the dead as well as the living. Be there to console those that are still amongst the living.

I.M.O.O.
I think you should help watch over him..you may not have been close to him..but i'm sure he cared for you..and he is family..you wouldn't not want someone to come be with you on your last days would you?

It's important for those who have family around to be surrouned by them when they are dying..it helps them feel more at east and makes the trasition easier..In my field..I've seen alot of it!

I think you need to prepare yourself for the sorrow you will feel..and if you don't honor your moms wishes..after he is gone..I assure you..you will regret not spending that time with him..even if it's not alot!

I wish you well..and keep you both in my prayers!

Definitely go and watch over him. As bad as it sounds, seeing death is an education that you cannot gain any other way. I have sat with both my g-parents and my father; and would not trade the experiences because of the closeness and understanding it brought me

First I have buried my father my mom my aunt my grandparents.........I don't know why you think you need to be invited you go out of respect for the family.....if you feel uncomfortable then sit in the back. I know at my mom's I went through the motions not really know who was there and not there. I understand you may not be close to your uncle but do it out of respect if nothing else.

I just know that dealing with death as much as I have it is not a question to if I am invited it is god another loved one I am laying to rest.

This is really what your uncle wanted if he did not leave any instructions as to who he wants or does not want then go and pay your respects and leave.

Just my thoughts on it

Beautifully stated sweetheart.I agree 100%.

at the age of 28 i have buried most of my immediate and extended family. as jmo i dont think there really are "rules" just be respectful to everyone. it never is easy at one of them.


you should do as your mother asks that would be very kind of you.


good luck with what you choose.
im sorry for situation

peace be with you

IMHO: I think you should honor your mothers request even if it is done out of love and respect for her. People who are dying seem to want family and friends there for reassurance that they are loved.

I have been to several funerals and was never invited to any of them it is something I go to because I love the person who has died and I want to give and recieve support from family and friends.

Death can be very uncomfortable some people seem to handle it better than others. I think I handle it pretty well. I try to view funerals as a celebration of someones life. I try to think of the positive things they did with their lives and the positive things they did to help me. Chances are if they are family I at least learned something from them.

Again this is just my opinion and experience. I hope it helps.

Ok, I will go watch over him though. I tell you, life is a strange thing... Even the changes inside of me that I have seen, certain feelings that I had as a child with the smell of rain on a spring day almost fades with feelings of almost nothing as an adult.

*sigh*...... I am sorry to hear that some of you had to bury parents, and have lost children along with other loved ones. I kind of wanted to save my tears for my mother and father (or any of the young ones if God were to take them before my time). I suppose this will do good, for every has been for reason in my book. Ok then, I will attend to my uncle and help my mother and my aunt.

Thanks for your input everyone.


--Faust

there are two reasons you go to a funeral... one if you were close to the person whom died of course and the second is to be there for the ones living that are impacted by this.. as your mother.. your go there to support her

ditto