This guy, Artie, gets tired of working so hard and not getting anywhere,
and seeing all these guys in the Mafia in their fine three piece suits
and fancy cars, decides that he has to join the Mafia.

He goes up to one of the guys and says, " I want to join the Mafia."

The guy answers, " You ever kill any one for money?"

Artie answers, "No."

The guy says, " Well, you either got to be born into the mafia, or you
gotta kill somebody for money."

So Artie says, " How much will you pay me?"

The guy says, " I'm not gonna pay you."

Artie says, " C'mon, just pay me a dollar so I can get in."

The guy says, " Okay, I'll tell you what. You kill somebody, tell me
about it, and if I see it in the morning paper, I'll pay you a dollar."

Artie says, " Oh thank you, thank you!" and heads off on his mission. He
goes to Ralphs Supermarket, sees an old lady pushing a cart, and decides
that she's lived a full life, goes up to her, grabs her round the neck
and chokes her to death.

The bag boy sees him, and chases after him. Artie realizes that he can't
out run the bag boy, turns around, grabs the bag boy by the neck and
chokes him to death.

In the morning paper the headlines read, " ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR
AT RALPHS!"

uggggg. Who ever said that the pun was the lowest form of humor was
right. But then why am I still laughing.