im afraid she has to stand on her own for this..she may end having taken this mans life..and all for drink..walk away hun i know shes a friend but sometimes you have to let them face up to there battles

Now this is hitting close to home.......my best friend is a heroin/crack/meth user.......Ive worried countless years? over her........I had to move.......wash hands??? Never!!! She is and will always be my best friend....but sometimes you have to let go.......somehow and somewhere...... If I lived in the same town as her I would compromise myself.....and Im not willing to do that!!! Neither should you!

I was on this morning when i asked for everyones advice...i got off the computer and couldnt sleep because this is just taking over my brain....so i did alot of thinking.....She wont be getting out of jail at this point not unless she can come up with 50,000..which i dont see happening...i will wait a few days to see her..at this point i cant..i am going to wait untill she detoxes for a bit....i will tell her i love her...its aweful hard however to stand by her..that is where i am having a controversy..i dont know how to stand by her....but i will tlak to her for a bit and just see how it goes......we shall see how the conversation goes....i am sure we will both be crying......
Thankyou again to everyone who has commented....it means alot....you all rock!!!!

Your doing the right thing let her sit in jail and detox at least 4-5 days, it will take that long to get everything out of her system so she is thinking a little more clearly. It's ok to let her know you love her but it is very important for you to tell her that you will not stand by her if she continues with this insane behavior (drinking/druging). I would not give her money and if she manages to get out of jail do not let her live at your place or even give her food. She needs to start taking responsibility for her actions. I would give her support by showing up for her court dates if she is that good of a friend to you. Going to visit her in jail and writting to her can be positive as well. It can be good for her to know that someone loves her.

Your in a tough spot there's times you need to be tough with her and then there will be times when you need to show love and understanding. I wish you and your friend the best of luck.

If you have any more questions don't be afraid to email me. I work at an alcohol/drug treatment center. I deal with a lot of people who are in the correctional facilities due to drug and alcohol abuse.

it is possible to stand by her without condoning her actions..

try not to worry about things you can not control..