Ya know what happened when I gave my boss viagra?

He got taller- the prick.

haha we can still all party hereee for sureeeeeee

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show
for it.These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me
that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new
haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair
of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep
after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me
anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and
wife.
Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the
case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great life!
_______________________________________________________________
Dear Ex-Husband -

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
you and I have been married for seven years, athough a good man is a
far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they
drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing
that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother
raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't
comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused
with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the
$49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a
coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that
morning.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it
out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and
bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime
from me. So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
Carl . I hope that's not a problem.

yeahhhhh

Missed ya for sure. I brought ya into this navigation here. Hoping all is well jamie.

some party...it aint a party until its a par-tay!!!

a woot to a hoot

Well somebody get naked for the lady

Bwaaa ha ha! Good one.

all is good and im definitly waiting for someone to get naked:)

My grandpa was in a nursing home. Figured he was lonely and wanted to get laid. So I got him a hooker. She showed up all hot lookin and gramps says "Hi, what do you want?" the hooker says "Why I'm here to give you super sex!". Grandpa says "I'll take the soup."

shiit..i'm in my mighty whities...but who knows? i do! and now you do too!

woot woot

Hmmmmmm naked. Naked. All I got is a photo of me, actor russell marlowe, and justin timberlake sitting around half naked drinking. Is that ok?

Gonna have to do I guess. All I got on me.

I'm mobile over satellite.