A couple was all dressed up and ready to go out for the evening. They
turned on the nightlight and the answering machine, covered the
parakeet, put the cat in the backyard, phoned the local cab company and
ordered a taxi.


When the taxi arrived, they left through the front door, and their cat
slipped back inside the house! They didn't want to leave the cat inside,
so the wife got in the taxi while the husband went inside to put the cat
out again.


Not wanting the driver to know that their home will be empty all
evening, she told the driver, "my husband will be out soon; he just went
upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."


When the husband entered the cab, he said, "Sorry I took so long. The
stupid ***** was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat
hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to
keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her downstairs and
threw her out into the back yard!"


At that point that the cab driver hit a parked car ...

lol man you got some funny jokes