(please take no offense...)

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES" You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS and furthermore:


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF
THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED
COMPANION."

She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
INCONVENIENCED"

She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY
ENHANCED."

She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPEtitIVE."

She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORAlLY SUPERIOR."

She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."




HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL
DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes
"ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

He does not act like a "TOTAL azz" - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION"

He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP
CHALLENGED."

He is not "horney" - He is "Sexually Focused."

That's great!! I love it!!

that's too funny! i'm sure i'll use 'em from time to time...thank you!

Thanks for sharing that, I loved it.