> I know what Victoria's Secret is.
> The secret is that nobody older than 40 can fit into their stuff.
>
> The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because
> by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
>
> Just when I was getting used to yesterday,
> along came today.
>
> Sometimes I think I understand everything,
> then I regain consciousness.
>
> I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs
> kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
>
>
> Amazing!
> You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes!
>
>
> Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like,
> "You know, sometimes I just forget to eat."
>
> Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys.
> But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to
> forget to eat.
>
>
>
> A friend of mine confused her valium
> with her birth control pills.
> She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.
>
>
> The trouble with some women is.... that they get all excited about nothing
> and then they marry him.
>
> I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are:
> eating too much, impulse buying,
> and driving too fast.
> Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.

>
>
>
>