Community > Misc Advice, Help & Support

Topic: I need some help making a decision
lifestooshort6 Joined Mon 12/31/07 Posts: 6667	Thu 06/05/08 06:52 PM
Your family should feel truly blessed to have such a good momma/nana like you I totally think asking for a weekend off or just an evening off every week should not be too much to ask for. That way you won't feel overwhelmed. Good Luck and Cheers to you!!!

Journey2008 Joined Sat 01/12/08 Posts: 598	Thu 06/05/08 06:54 PM
That's the most unselfish thing a grandparent can do! Just ask for weekends off every now and then. I am so proud of my son and daughter in law for the path they have chosen, and I love my grandchildren. Just wish I knew of a way to take time for me. Anybody know some places for me to go in Arkansas, that I don't have to be afraid to go by myself, since I don't have a date

Journey2008 Joined Sat 01/12/08 Posts: 598	Thu 06/05/08 06:56 PM
First of all its great that they are paying your bills. I know a lot of people that do that and get nothing for it. I would just be honest and let them know that you also need some time for just "you" time. Do you live in the same house? Is there a way to make a separate little apartment (over the garage perhaps)? Just be honest that you need a bit of your own life too and I'm sure they'll work something out with you. I live in the same house. I have my own room, but no time to go "hide". Here's an example, yesterday they were both gone from 7:30 a.m until 11:30 pm. between meetings, pt and finally work. You need to move on to do your own thing! Not only will you be miserable but so will your grandkids if you continue. That wouldn't be good for any of you. Sounds like you know what you want to do you just don't know the how and when. I think you may be right, Gita

Journey2008 Joined Sat 01/12/08 Posts: 598	Thu 06/05/08 06:58 PM
Thanks everybody I think I just needed to get others opinions on my predicament.

froglittlesis Joined Mon 03/10/08 Posts: 776	Thu 06/05/08 07:00 PM
Why can't you get a place that is close to them so you can still help them out with the children? Mabey they could pay a bill to help you as you help them as well. You do need a life outside of your children and grandchildren though!!!! I will keep you in my prayers.

Journey2008 Joined Sat 01/12/08 Posts: 598	Thu 06/05/08 07:00 PM
Your family should feel truly blessed to have such a good momma/nana like you I totally think asking for a weekend off or just an evening off every week should not be too much to ask for. That way you won't feel overwhelmed. Good Luck and Cheers to you!!! That's the work I was looking for...overwhelmed...that's the way I have been feeling lately. Plus the fact that my son and daughter in law are leaving on Saturday for a week long cruise, and I will have the kids all by myself. I have just been feeling overwhelmed.

Journey2008 Joined Sat 01/12/08 Posts: 598	Thu 06/05/08 07:02 PM
Why can't you get a place that is close to them so you can still help them out with the children? Mabey they could pay a bill to help you as you help them as well. You do need a life outside of your children and grandchildren though!!!! I will keep you in my prayers. Thank you! They pay all my bills for me now. They can't afford to pay rent and utillities on top of that, and there is no time left in the day for me to get a job of my own.

thencourager Joined Wed 06/04/08 Posts: 30	Fri 06/06/08 09:14 AM
It has been very nice of you to help your children and grandchildren out...very nice. But if your son can afford to pay your bills, he can afford to pay childcare. He and his wife can rearrange their work schedules to accommodate you moving out and getting back with your own life.

Journey2008 Joined Sat 01/12/08 Posts: 598	Fri 06/06/08 11:53 AM
It has been very nice of you to help your children and grandchildren out...very nice. But if your son can afford to pay your bills, he can afford to pay childcare. He and his wife can rearrange their work schedules to accommodate you moving out and getting back with your own life. rearranging work schedules is easier said than done.

oldsage Joined Thu 09/14/06 Posts: 18043	Fri 06/06/08 12:17 PM
Take sometime in July & come to the GATHERING, at my place. That might be a good start.

screaMNchic Joined Sun 11/04/07 Posts: 479	Fri 06/06/08 12:19 PM
why can't you get a life while living there and helping them out?

oldsage Joined Thu 09/14/06 Posts: 18043	Fri 06/06/08 12:25 PM
Have you tried a local church?

Journey2008 Joined Sat 01/12/08 Posts: 598	Fri 06/06/08 01:01 PM
why can't you get a life while living there and helping them out? because they are gone from 10 or 10:30 in the morning until 11:30 at night. There is no daycare open those hours. That leaves the weekends, but I haven't had a chance to get out and meet anybody yet. I'm not from here, so I have no friends to hang out with.

Journey2008 Joined Sat 01/12/08 Posts: 598	Fri 06/06/08 01:03 PM
Have you tried a local church? Am going to try that. Had already thought of that. I need to find one here. I wish I could come up for the gathering, but can't do it this time. You'll have to have fun without me

cutelildevilsmom Joined Sat 04/07/07 Posts: 8862	Fri 06/06/08 01:45 PM
Set your kids down and explain you need time to read a book,go to a movie or something.See if they can get a day care provider to come in for one day or night a week(split that twelve hour shift) so you have either a night or day during the week free.Tell them weekends are your time so you can recuperate and they can reconnect with their children since they aren't really spending time with them since they are working so hard. Hopefully the kids start school soon and the problem will take care of itself.good luck..

Journey2008 Joined Sat 01/12/08 Posts: 598	Fri 06/06/08 04:12 PM
Set your kids down and explain you need time to read a book,go to a movie or something.See if they can get a day care provider to come in for one day or night a week(split that twelve hour shift) so you have either a night or day during the week free.Tell them weekends are your time so you can recuperate and they can reconnect with their children since they aren't really spending time with them since they are working so hard. Hopefully the kids start school soon and the problem will take care of itself.good luck.. thanks, that's an idea. The oldest starts school in the fall, so that will help some. Other than the little one complaing, already, that he HAS to go to school too.

sam53 Joined Wed 03/12/08 Posts: 2073	Fri 06/06/08 05:02 PM
Have you tried a local church? Why a church ?. This couple are both working . It seems she needs a life . Her son and his wife are adults and can solve their own problems . She can not raise her children and then her grandchildren . She needs time for herself . In my opinion , she should share her concerns with her son and her daughter in law . Now it is in the Internet and everyone knows about it . Is the son the last one to know ?. .

Journey2008 Joined Sat 01/12/08 Posts: 598	Sat 06/07/08 09:01 AM
Have you tried a local church? Why a church ?. This couple are both working . It seems she needs a life . Her son and his wife are adults and can solve their own problems . She can not raise her children and then her grandchildren . She needs time for herself . In my opinion , she should share her concerns with her son and her daughter in law . Now it is in the Internet and everyone knows about it . Is the son the last one to know ?. . NO...he is not! My son and daughter in law know I am having a hard time deciding what to do with the rest of my life!!!

knightless Joined Sat 04/14/07 Posts: 402	Sat 06/07/08 11:43 AM
The military will work with families especially if both parents are serving. Maybe they can go and ask what options they may have and if there is any help they can get..it sure wouldn't hurt for them to check into that option.

knightless Joined Sat 04/14/07 Posts: 402	Sat 06/07/08 11:48 AM
Your family should feel truly blessed to have such a good momma/nana like you I totally think asking for a weekend off or just an evening off every week should not be too much to ask for. That way you won't feel overwhelmed. Good Luck and Cheers to you!!! That's the work I was looking for...overwhelmed...that's the way I have been feeling lately. Plus the fact that my son and daughter in law are leaving on Saturday for a week long cruise, and I will have the kids all by myself. I have just been feeling overwhelmed. Why couldn't they have stayed home with their children after not being around them so long and let you go on the cruise so you will be able to have some time for yourself for a change??