Last Sunday we were all in church sitting in the pews
The priest was in his pulpit 'bout to preach the Godly news
When he looked up to heaven we got down on our knees
And as he went to bless the wine someone cut the cheese.

The preacher grabbed his Bible then he grabbed his gut
Those eggs he had for breakfast had gone straight to his b**t.
Lord he prayed I'm in a fix won't you help me please.
So he yelled out Hallelujah every time he cut the cheese.

The congregation sat up and every member of the choir
We never heard him preach like that the preacher was on fire
He took us from the gates of Hell, threw away the keys
And we all yelled Hallelujah when the preacher cut the cheese.

But up there on the altar the air had turned to gas
The altar boys were droppin' and the choir was singing jazz.
It looked just like a miracle, like the parting seas
That Sunday morning sermon when the preacher cut the cheese.

Suddenly there was a noise in came the local drunk
His clothes were ripped and tattered, some say that he stunk
He said I'm here for some salvation there's so much I regret
Then everyone went crazy when he lit that cigarette.

Well that great big towering steeple became a rocket ship
It took us friends of Jesus on one amazing trip.
We travelled back through space and time watched history unfold
Saw a young **** Clark and Joan of Arc and cracked Da Vinci's Code

We saw them build the Pyramids then we picked up speed
We prayed to God for seat belts as we crossed the Gaelic Sea
Then at the gates of Heaven we landed with such ease.
Thank God that church had air brakes
When the preacher cut the cheese.