Morning MBD!

Here's one more for ya!

As you slide down the banister of life, may
the splinters never point the wrong way

Never place your grocery's in the back of your pick up truck and then run your truck through the car wash.

You can't heat a coffee cup in the microwave if it has a gold lining imprinted on it.

While getting dressed for work in the morning never try to match your socks with the lights out.

Never leave a tube of preparation H next to your toothpaste.

Never buy lemon juice that comes in a bottle that looks like a Mountain Dew soft drink.

Always make sure your swim trunks is tied tight before you attempt to dive in a pool

Always pay attention to the name of the book you decide to read while sun bathing at the pool. (The name of the book..."Secrets of a serial rapist" and I placed it over my face so I could sleep)

Never try to figure out the gender of a newborn baby. If you say "What a beautiful girl", it will be a boy or visa versa.

When dining at a fine restaurant never grab anything from the desert display (it's plastic)

While cutting grass Never point your lawnmower towards your neighbors car and running over a small rock. It will break the windshield.

When meeting a woman named Tissy, never stare at her breasts while saying her name. It comes out like this "Hi Titty....."

Good morning people

while reading above I just thought to myself may be you need glasses if you are not already wearing one until I got to the last experience . It was then I decided you are far gone and there is only two hopes for you, Bob Hope who is no more and no hope.

I totally agree