I wish all damnation to the darkest pits of hell,
so my accursed soul can see what stupidity I
have done. My heart has drowned into an ocean
of madness and is too late to save it.
The best part of my life has drifted away
because of the foolishness I chose to hide under.
Her name was Marianne and I loved her.
She did something remarkable to me.
She ignited my insensible, lonely soul and
unearthed a man within this little boy
I am. Her friendship retrieved a happiness
I thought I would never feel again. It soared
like an eagle and it felt wonderful.

It was as if she waited for me to say
something to her. To tell her that
are friendship could go a little further.
To be the one who held her hand, wipe
the tears from her eyes when she cried,
And to say,
“I love you.”
Yet I never did. The thought of telling her
terrified me. And the word “rejection” bounced
around my useless imagination like a rubber ball.

Now she is gone and I am left with only
memories of a woman who brought
a certain happiness which is now
gone without a trace.
And so I am living life as though as in hell.
For stupidity can destroy so much.

Word to my mama!!

if you ever need a listening ear, i'm here for you. that's very beautiful, and extremely heartfelt, but when one truly commits. they find out the didn't end it. you're still here....just out of body. trust me on this. i'm not speaking out of my ass. you will stand there, still alive over your dead body. this can be very frustrating, for the pain is still there, and you can't kill yourself again.

They say the grass is greener at a nudist colony.

I'm not sure how true that is...

Sorry to hear about your loss man. Just keep your head up.