This is such a hard thing to do, and I guess it is unavoidable for someone to be hurt. But I have an idea about this. I had relationships in the past( I won't tell you how far past) and I have learned that you shouldn't waste your time or theirs if you want to move on. Someone is bound to be hurt, but is far better to do it quick and move on? Any thoughts?

I agree..it puts you both in a no win situation if you dont.

yes quicker the better

I agree, and always have, but i have another question/problem?
Are you really wasnt their time or hurting their feelings if you told them in the beginning that you were looking for something specific, but then they are not, so you keep dating and end up finding someone who is looking for what you are looking for, are you still hurting them, do they deserve to be told, or should it be expected?
(sorry to barge in on your thread)

Being honest about why your splitting is the best.
give a reason why you dont want to be together, not just because(thats lame)
Staying together is a lose lose for the both of you.

It's REALLY hard when the person wants more time to prove it will work, if YOU give it time, and it still doesn't fly. Is that their hope, my hope, our hope??? So, best to get it done with sooner, and harder to cope with a loss from so much time and heart invested.

WOW! I just went thru the same thing. I met a gut on here and things were GREAT!Then he siad he loved me.. then stopped calling. When I finally got him to talk he gave me some excuse he needed time...now he is back on this site again! Honsety is totally the best.

AGREED

I Totally agree
The last relationship I was in ..nothing was clicking except me & him...we both had kids that were totally clashing..our life styles were complete opposite.. after awhile his opinions were not quite the same as mine..it just could'nt work .

I soooo agree with you Dawnette. The same was true for me and my ex; however the last time we tried dating (we dated or tried to make it work on more than a few occassions), we weren't even clicking towards the end.

When I tried to be honest with my ex about why I didn't think it was gonna work, he tried agrueing the points with me. Thank God I stood my ground this time and I won't be going back or calling him again.

stay together, hate life and be bored with each other.

I did that for 14 yrs...toooo long to waste your life..now I am too old to recoup those years

yes, do it like my Ex did, on the phone from out of state.
Nothing says "its over" quite like that!

Well, you have met no gut till you've met my gut!

boy....you sure can tell when the guys hit the room!

real answers maybe?

I just went through that myself and though there is always pain, it's the best thing to do

I've heard that before

I'm in a bit of a pickle of this sorts myself. I met a guy and he's really sweet. Very funny and smart with his act together. I feel guilty about not feeling any chemistry. It's obvious he does (which is new for me) but I just dont feel that spark. We're still talking, and I've met someone new. I have the total package with the new guy and I'm just not sure how to tell the other guy that being friends would be great but I'm just not feeling the relationship thing with him. SUCH A BUMMER!

You have to be honest and move on....but only after telling the other person. Hanging in there doesn't work.....did that for 19 years of a marriage...

I've always cut if off when I feel I need to without waiting. That's just me though.

It depends though. Sometimes I wish I would have waited, maybe things would have changed.