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Community > Jokes & Funny Stories

Topic: Answering machine
Topsykretts Joined Wed 05/14/08 Posts: 4807	Fri 05/30/08 06:24 PM
My wife and i can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. This is not an answering machine-this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name and your number and your reason for calling...and I'll think about returning your call. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is john's refrigerator. Speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. Hi. Now YOU say something. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message, and if I don't call back, its you. Hello!If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a sexy message, I'll call sooner.

sir_will_yum Joined Thu 05/29/08 Posts: 1	Fri 05/30/08 06:26 PM
Answering Machine Message for the Mental Health Institute Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline. If you are obsessive or compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependant, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3,4,5 and 6 If you are paranoid, we already know who you are, but stay on the line while we trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you have short term memory loss, press 9, if you have short term memory loss, press 9, if you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

tanyaann Joined Mon 12/03/07 Posts: 32220	Fri 05/30/08 06:27 PM


atleedagod Joined Mon 05/26/08 Posts: 738	Fri 05/30/08 06:29 PM
Answering Machine Message for the Mental Health Institute Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline. If you are obsessive or compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependant, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3,4,5 and 6 If you are paranoid, we already know who you are, but stay on the line while we trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you have short term memory loss, press 9, if you have short term memory loss, press 9, if you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you. ROFLMFAO

mrscupcake Joined Sun 04/27/08 Posts: 470	Fri 05/30/08 06:29 PM


atleedagod Joined Mon 05/26/08 Posts: 738	Fri 05/30/08 06:32 PM
stays on the line waitin for the call to trace

Nancy27 Joined Wed 04/02/08 Posts: 39	Fri 05/30/08 08:18 PM
The rejection hotline has a cool recording: 1-415-356-9833 Try giving it a call!

Community > Jokes & Funny Stories