Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: QUESTION LADIES ....
robert1652 Joined Wed 11/14/07 Posts: 8447	Mon 05/26/08 04:43 PM
A good friend of mine's wife left him after 16 years of marriage .She says she dont want a divorce cause she dont want to lose him" But at the same time she dont want to get back together with him either .. Does that make any since ? she wants to have the cake and eat it smart lady dumb good friend

YourLove1 Joined Sun 01/06/08 Posts: 5275	Mon 05/26/08 04:44 PM
she wants her cake and eat it... sounds like it and in away it sounds like when it comes down to it , he's really the only one she can count on. thats why she dont want the divorce

maxxximus007 Joined Mon 11/13/06 Posts: 6082	Mon 05/26/08 04:44 PM
of course it makes since why would it make since ? could it be for insurance reasons? or maybe just not sure or she has someone on the side and can't make up her mind.or she just want to have time ti think.

CherrySparks212 Joined Mon 04/07/08 Posts: 964	Mon 05/26/08 04:45 PM
sense sense sense sense sense sensesense sense sense sense sense sensesense sense sense sense sense sensesense sense sense sense sense sensesense sense sense sense sense sensesense sense sense sense sense sensesense sense sense sense sense sensesense sense sense sense sense sensesense sense sense sense sense sensesense sense sense sense sense sensesense sense sense sense sense sensesense sense sense sense sense sensesense sense sense sense sense sensesense sense sense sense sense sensesense sense sense sense sense sense does it make any? LMAO....

what_heck Joined Fri 11/23/07 Posts: 897	Mon 05/26/08 04:45 PM
Fear is probably why! If she holds on to him she thinks she'll always have him.

YourLove1 Joined Sun 01/06/08 Posts: 5275	Mon 05/26/08 04:46 PM
It makes sense if she just needs a little time away to regroup,time to think,perhaps time to just"breath" maybe her life is just to hectic, than its okay, if she has plans of coming back and resuming the marriage. On the other hand if she wants to go out and date and she wants him to be there when she gets it out of her system, than no is the answer. J thats what some of us tell him that she just wants alittle freedom for awhile cause she's never been single before ..

stilladreamer1230 Joined Tue 10/30/07 Posts: 11	Mon 05/26/08 04:46 PM
Maybe she needs his health insurance plan?

LouLou2 Joined Sun 04/13/08 Posts: 1685	Mon 05/26/08 04:46 PM
A good friend of mine's wife left him after 16 years of marriage .She says she dont want a divorce cause she dont want to lose him" But at the same time she dont want to get back together with him either .. Does that make any since ? Depends on why she left...is he an adulterer? an alcoholic? an abusive spouse? These are a few of the reasons a woman might choose to leave a man she truly loves. The reason she left is what keeps her from going back...the love keeps her from letting go. Who knows...probably only them.

unique1111 Joined Fri 05/23/08 Posts: 295	Mon 05/26/08 04:47 PM
Good response....if she has a good reason for the time away and it's not to see other men, it should be a good thing. What was the reason she gave? Does he believe her? If she only wants to play a while and thinks being separated will ease her conscience then NO, it is not OK.

YourLove1 Joined Sun 01/06/08 Posts: 5275	Mon 05/26/08 04:47 PM
of course it makes since why would it make since ? could it be for insurance reasons? or maybe just not sure or she has someone on the side and can't make up her mind.or she just want to have time ti think. thats what i think too

Silntstrnger Joined Wed 12/12/07 Posts: 4265	Mon 05/26/08 04:48 PM
i wouldn't care what she wants i would be filing for divorce...She wants her cake and eat it too..

YourLove1 Joined Sun 01/06/08 Posts: 5275	Mon 05/26/08 04:49 PM
A good friend of mine's wife left him after 16 years of marriage .She says she dont want a divorce cause she dont want to lose him" But at the same time she dont want to get back together with him either .. Does that make any since ? Depends on why she left...is he an adulterer? an alcoholic? an abusive spouse? These are a few of the reasons a woman might choose to leave a man she truly loves. The reason she left is what keeps her from going back...the love keeps her from letting go. Who knows...probably only them. she left because she lost alot of weight. she went from 300 lbs down to 140 lbs .

Amber989 Joined Tue 05/20/08 Posts: 96	Mon 05/26/08 05:00 PM
She's being dumb for not realizing he's the one that's been with her through thick and thin. No pun intended. If she doesn't want to be with him, but doesn't want a divorce, that's because she thinks she has the power to control the situation since she's the one that left and she doesn't think he's going to do anything about it. (One of my friends did this exact same thing.) He can quickly say, take the power of his future into his own hands. (and her husband did this and now she's the one that's devestated.) So, if he wants her back or not, he can act like he doesn't give a care in the world about her and she might realize the error of her ways or she might still not care and continue on in the path that she's going. Either way, he should man up and file. Just my opinion though.

Alterego1961 Joined Thu 05/22/08 Posts: 828	Mon 05/26/08 05:01 PM
My ex at least divorced me, but she can't hardly let go either. she is living with her loser boyfriend, but he is emotionally void and psychologically abusive. She is very used to this since all her past boyfriends / exes have been like this except for me, which is why she can't fully let go. She says "I need you in my life". What's a guy to do? It's never easy, is it?

YourLove1 Joined Sun 01/06/08 Posts: 5275	Mon 05/26/08 05:04 PM
She's being dumb for not realizing he's the one that's been with her through thick and thin. No pun intended. If she doesn't want to be with him, but doesn't want a divorce, that's because she thinks she has the power to control the situation since she's the one that left and she doesn't think he's going to do anything about it. (One of my friends did this exact same thing.) He can quickly say, take the power of his future into his own hands. (and her husband did this and now she's the one that's devestated.) So, if he wants her back or not, he can act like he doesn't give a care in the world about her and she might realize the error of her ways or she might still not care and continue on in the path that she's going. Either way, he should man up and file. Just my opinion though. thats what i told him . i told him to act like he dont care anymore..

michiganman3 Joined Mon 10/29/07 Posts: 14521	Mon 05/26/08 05:24 PM
Maybe she needs his health insurance plan? OH, thats what friends with benefits means.