Thank goodness for people who have nothing better to do than send me these goofy jokes.

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time...
I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I
point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?


2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the
entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk
to the T.V. and change the channel manually.


3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat
it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?


4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of
course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after
you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
Gonna Kick their asses!


5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No
Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the
damn floor.


6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really
give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?


7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's
new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's
an improvement, then there must have been something before
it, couldn't be new.


8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the
longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do
that's longer?


9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the
bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here,
dumbass?

OMG, I can so relate to these, thanks for my first outloud of the day!

I have read this before but still cracks me up when I read it.