I once worked in a convenience store out in California. It didn't pay great but the experience was well worth it. It's surprising what you learn about people in a very short time. And more surprising the marks they can leave on your memories, heart and soul, in the minute or two you have with them at the register.Here are a few examples;

One night a young couple came in; He was handsome,20ish, dressed very nice, she too was young and very pretty, dressed to kill and very friendly. What was so remarkable you ask? The young lady had been in a fire at some point in her life and the entire left side of her face was horribly disfigured.

I found myself trying not to stare but it was obvious to me she was a very beautiful girl, and I began to question myself what it must be like for her to deal with the looks and stares of strangers.Oh God, I thought, if this had happened to me, could I bearer the same existence? And to be a woman, a creature so set on poise and beauty; I could not bring myself to even imagine her inner feelings.

But, she looked at me...not toward me or past me, but directly at me. It was only for a moment, in order to ask where she might find a particular item, but I sensed an air of confidence, that was truer than I have ever felt in another. There was no self-hate or disgust, no denial of who she was. I began to feel a shame, for my own weakness in the company of her strength.

Walking up to the register, she carried herself with grace and dignity. Not like the learned grace of a model but the special grace that only comes from some mysterious source within. She smiled at me, half her face lighted up with charm and beauty, the other, remained nearly limp and contorted with swirling, pinkish and red, flame molded tissue. I struggled inside to contain my foolish feelings and not to look back with pity. For if she had no self-pity, of what use would she have of mine.

She asked me for some directions and paid for her items. Her left hand was also badly scarred, I'd noticed. Then, surprisingly to me she gave me a couple of bucks, as a tip. Suddenly my feelings were mollified. I tried to refuse her tip, but she wouldn't let me. I wondered how she could have such compassion for me, a complete stranger? How was it so possible for her to see past her own life, to make such a gesture to mine? But now I see, she left her scars on my soul, and I carry them. For its the beautiful young face I remember mostly.The clean shine to her lovely brunette hair; The rosiness of her delicate cheeks, her bright white smile and beautiful sky blue eyes.

Oh, and the young man, the whole time just stood back and watched her, like watching a great movie. He was completely absorbed with her every movement. When they left, I felt a wonderful change inside of me.

Another dear, noble women in her mid-60's I would guess, would come in for gas on a regular basis. And even though she was partially crippled, from what I'd thought at the time might have been a stroke, she would always get out and pump her own gasoline. One day, I saw her pull up and I grabbed the pump nozzle and kindly insisted that I should help her.

She was very nice and chatted with me, leaning on her cane as she talked to me. She had a wonderful aura about her. A strong open and giving smile that made you feel her presence. As we talked I told her, there was never any need for her to bother with pumping her gas. I stated that even though we are a self-service station, we are happy to help with physically impaired folks. She told me she didn't mind, it let her stretch her side some. I asked her if she had, had a stroke or something and laughingly she responded,"Oh dear no, my heart is like an ox's". Then she went on to explain to me what had happened to her.

She had a very beautiful daughter she told me, and her daughter got involved with a terribly, jealous young man. He was very controlling and abusive to her, until one day he came home and didn't find her there waiting for him. He went out and hunted her down and found her at the mothers house. Pulled out a pistol and shot them both.

Her daughter had died and the man went to jail, leaving this mother with the memories of watching her daughter being shot down in cold blood, and her crippling injury to remind her of it daily. I'm sure I looked dumb founded. All I could bring myself to say is,"I'm so sorry". She reassured me that she was OK. I felt ashamed to be a man in this womans presence. And now I carry her wound with me, also.

I think you would be doing them a disservice to carry their scars, I am sure if you asked them they would prefer you not, it would be most beneficial to yourself and to them it you carry their strength.

1freespirit

I am reminded of this scripture verse...

If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done.
Ecclesiates 11:4

These women have a peace within their souls which can only come from God's presence. They have found perfection in living life to its fullest, no matter the circumstances, and their gift to us is their peace and unconditional acceptance for life and all it holds.

...For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
Phillippians 4:11

And as for your prose... what an eloquent speaker/writer you are!
It is evident through this posting that these situations touched you deeply and you were indeed blessed by them!

It is regretful to think about all the blessings we never stop longer enough to acknowledge, let alone, let them touch us so deeply!

So may we all be watchful of such blessings! :)

"A Heart Broken Open Can Embrace The Whole World"



No need for shame. You are a man of deep compassion. You have the capacity to embrace the whole world.

Like a noble steed,charging at life with every good intention to overcome my own defenses, my own faults and failures; Leaping and bounding over my loss and pain and sufferings. Happily racing, full stride into the sun. Finding myself, tossed away, in some unknown and unintentional direction, like a broken pony, from a runaway carrousal. And I wonder, if it's no coincidence, that the grand carrousal should always represent great and noble creatures, in it's ever turning stables.
Does the horse know, that it is grander than the ass? The eagle, more noble than the chicadee? Does the fox regard himself sly; or the owl think himself wise? No, I think not. Only man projects such characteristics of mankind on earths creatures. For them, it's only thier beastly nature; For us, it's our own nature to be all these things, but in truth; We cannot be anymore than the nature, that God projects upon us.