Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.


Life is sexually transmitted.


Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.


Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection make him
a sandwich.


Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet
and they won't bother you for weeks.


Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for anything, but you still can't
help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs...


Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.


All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.


Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut
saves you thirty cents?

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection make him
a sandwich.




guess I better go make a sandwich

true and sometimes painfull lol

Many people go through life without examining their
thoughts, but not Jedi! Jedi are always examining and
evaluating everything - especially their own thoughts
and motives and feelings. We need to examine our
thoughts because of the negative tendencies of the
mind.

The mind seems to have a negative focus in most
people. For example, a couple can have a thousand
wonderful experiences together, but it will be that
negative argument where unkind words were exchanged
that will be remembered the most. That negative
experience will stick, and all the positive
experiences will fade into the background. Do 100
good things for someone and only one bad thing, and be
sure that they will remember the bad thing! We watch
the evening news to learn what went wrong today, how
many people died, where did the disaster happen, etc…
These are all examples of the negative tendencies of
the mind or the 'negative focus'.

This negative mental tendency is why Jedi are always
mindful of their thoughts. Jedi are aware that our
thoughts can be influenced by the thoughts of others,
locations, negative and positive energy,
electro-magnetic energy, drugs, books, films, and even
the food we eat. We need to be mindful of these outer
influences, be on the look-out for them.

We also need to be mindful of our thought patterns.
Negative thought patterns caused by poor habits can be
reversed, if we work on it. We can become more
positive in our attitude if we examine our thoughts
and set a positive focus instead of a negative focus.

If we look for the good and positive in things and try
to find the light, instead of the darkness, it will
help. If we focus on the present moment, and not drag
the negative past into the present moment, we will be
more positive. If we don't worry about the future we
will be more positive too. There are many ways to
become more positive, and we can change if we work on
it.