1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to
popular belief, men can’t just flip a switch and get it up because you
decided to stop being a frigid *****. Getting it hard is your job. I
suggest you figure it out.

2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the
time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partner’s mouth while
you get off is the hot. It depends on the situation.

3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off.
Tell him. If you don’t, it’s your own fault when he’s snoozing and
you’re all wound up.

4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex
makes most women want to talk and bond and all that crap. It makes men
pass out. It’s a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it
over his head, it’s not his fault.

5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That crap is
uncomfortable after awhile. A little snuggling isn’t unreasonable, but
when it’s time to actually sleep? An arm draped over you should suffice.

6. Expecting him to always lay on the charm and romance. Sometimes,
that’s nice. Sometimes. But expecting him to be all roses and candles
all the time is like expecting you to act like a pronstar all the time.
If you’re not willing to do that, don’t expect him to switch for you.

7. Being selfish in bed. Regardless of the crap that Cosmo forces down
our throats, sex is NOT just about us. Get over it.

8. Using Cosmo as a sex bible. I don’t know who comes up with half that
crap, but I’m pretty sure they need counseling.

9. Whining when he pushes your head down on his “one-eyed geelah
monster” instead of stroking your hair. Know why he’s pushing, skippy?
Because you aren’t doing it right, and have apparently ignored the other
clues he’s given you. Pay attention to the signals that he’s sending
you.

10. Not moving at all. Missionary is not an excuse to do nothing.

11. Expecting him to undress himself with any amount of grace. He’s
about to get some “trim”. Be glad he bothered to take his pants all the
way off. If it concerns you so much, undress him yourself.

12. Not shaving your legs. I’m pretty bad at this myself. But if you
want your guy stubble free, you better get out the razor.

13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the Amazon. Yes, waxing hurts. Yes,
some people don’t want to go bare. That’s fine. If you like bush, great.
If you have sensitive skin and can’t shave, I feel for you. But for the
love of Christ, trim that crap if you want him to spend any time down
there.

14. Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you
have is that he has now stuck his hoo hoo dilly in your cha cha. That’s
as far as it goes unless otherwise noted.

15. Withholding oral sex just because you’re ragging. He didn’t do it.
Unless you want him to withhold oral sex because he’s hormonal, I
suggest you get some kneepads.

16. Expecting him to figure out what you like by what noise you make.
Use your words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while
you’re having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked you
to explain what was causing you to make that noise, 67% of women would
respond with answers like “I stubbed my toe” “I ran up the steps” or “I
was putting up drywall”.

17. Leaving condoms up to him. If you’re sexually active and insist that
he uses a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by your bed. Not
all men keep them on them, and it’s just as much your responsibility as
it is his. If you think that makes you a slut, you shouldn’t be having
sex anyway. Go back to Jr. High.

18. Getting your undies in a bunch when he talks dirty. A little fantasy
can be fun. If he treats you with respect all the time, you shouldn’t be
offended when he calls you his dirty little slut. When he calls you a
whore and tells you to come, it’s his way of showing that he cares if
you get off. Stop being a sissy.

19. Refusing to be spontaneous. I know this is shocking, but sometimes
sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun.

20. Dissing quickies because it’s not some slow sensual ordeal. Sex is a
dynamic thing. There’s an awesome raw energy when you only have 20
minutes but having to have someone so bad that you do it half clothed
against the wall. Readjust your thinking.

21. Being too much of a scaredy cat to tell him what is or isn’t
acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he
can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like it’s an
invitation, don’t look surprised when he “accidentally” sticks his
“one-eyed geelah monster” in your butt.

22. Expecting him to undress you. I put a bra on almost every day. I
know for a fact that getting them off isn’t always easy. Help a brother
out.

23. Undressing in the dark. If you’re shy, dim the lights, but give the
man something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the
covers, either.

24. Refusing to get on top. There’s no reason men should have to do all
the work.

25. Getting that bored look on your face. Men are more visual than
women. Give him something to look at. Get on top and arch your back a
little bit. Move. Do something to indicate that you 1) are not dead and
2) didn’t suffer a minor stroke rendering you unable to move.

......Mike68, perhaps??.......anyhow, I repeat, "what did your mother do
to you"?????????

lily...why dont u actually take some time to read these before beginning
to type. And, i wont put u down, it just feeds your anger.

Well hell i got to agree with this as bad as i hate to

I am not angry.....on the contrary...I really, really, really pity you.
You live with so much pent up rage and resentment for women, your life
consists of nothing else. I mean, Latin...it's obvious! You have been
burned....(maybe ridiculed when you couldn't preform your "manly"
duties, maybe not)........by one or more women. Maybe you weren't really
even burnt. Perhaps you are simply overly sensitive, and totally misread
what COULD have been the greatest love of your life. Maybe you are not
angry at a woman at all, when you really delve into it. Maybe it is YOU,
YOURSELF, who has become your worst enemy. At any rate, I weep for you.
Maybe she yawned while you were having sex with her once or
twice.....................hhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....maybe we have heard this
all before, only under alter-psuedo-names....that is what really tilts
my empathy level for you.

thanks for using your brain marilyn

It's almost too true!

If you are having so many of these issues with women, Lunatic, perhaps
you should start thinking with YOUR brain;the one encased in your skull,
not the one playing tiddly winks behind your
zipper..............

lil leave latin alone for once.

joe...do i normally get in a conflict with u? if so, i am sorry, i just
speak my mind. it is nothing personal.

Oh, Joe.....you silly, silly boy........

No, Latin.....misinterpretation, here. That was toward me.....

ahh...ok lily, well, i am no one to tell u your "opinions" are
incorrect. continue on bashing and not thinking, if u feel u must.

LOL,lily, lily, lily

Thankyou, Lunatic! You know I am too timid to make a move w/out your
blessing.......

Hey, Fanta..how's life treating you?

lily...

oh, i have no doubt u will. I actually really like your spunk. it's to
bad we have such different views.

I am LMAO!!!

LOL sorry but those were funny.

whisper...

funny, but "generally" true.