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| Topic: Pushing me away | |
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I'm hoping someone will have some advice for me. I've been "sort of" dating my roommate for a while now, and the more I think about it, I feel that she is pushing me away because she is afraid of being in a relationship.
Of course, there's the obviously answer of "maybe she just doesn't like you." LOL ...but I'm pretty sure that's not it. She's mentioned to me before that her relationships pretty much only ever last a year, and it seems like she only starts pushing away when things in our lives start going smoothly. I feel like we have potential for something long lasting if I can help her get past this hurdle. I hope that someone has something for me. :-) Thanks. |
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Well sounds to me like u have it all figured out man..lol
And yeppers I would of said "maybe she just doesn't like you."..lol but u said that was not it..lol |
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patience, and reasure her that u wont leave her, shes probbaly had people leave her in the past when things eemed to be perfect, so shes afraid to let her guard down.
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best advice i can give is balls to the wall. give it all you got, if she pushes you, push back. if she pulls away, let it go. i know its easier said than done, but in my experience, thats just the way it is.
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I'm hoping someone will have some advice for me. I've been "sort of" dating my roommate for a while now, and the more I think about it, I feel that she is pushing me away because she is afraid of being in a relationship. Of course, there's the obviously answer of "maybe she just doesn't like you." LOL ...but I'm pretty sure that's not it. She's mentioned to me before that her relationships pretty much only ever last a year, and it seems like she only starts pushing away when things in our lives start going smoothly. I feel like we have potential for something long lasting if I can help her get past this hurdle. I hope that someone has something for me. :-) Thanks. Once I had a lady friend who said if I can last 3 yrs with her she will marry me. I tried my best the first 2 years were good the third year it was obvious she was gradually making things difficult. Her mother said to her you let this lad go you go too. Life became so impossible one night I had to say look II am going and I am not coming back and that was it she never even phoned once. |
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Just be patient with her. My best friend is the same way. She has been hurt so many times that now she keeps guys at arms length on purpose. She won't let anyone near her because she says you can't be disappointed if you have no expectations of men lol. Tell her how you feel and talk to each other. Communication is so important.
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best advice i can give is balls to the wall. give it all you got, if she pushes you, push back. if she pulls away, let it go. i know its easier said than done, but in my experience, thats just the way it is. ....yep. |
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look, if she wants space give her space. The trick is not to chase after her while at the same time be kind of a "rock". Don't show her emotional dependency. But do show her that you will be there for her. She needs to know that you can be trusted so you can find some subtle way or reasuring her that you aren't going anywhere. While at the same time allow her to come to you as she feels a bit more comfortable. Depending on how long you have been going out you can let her know how you feel to a degree. There is a danger though. If this is hurting you and she knows it she will begin to feel guilty. So basically be patient, let her come to you, but at the same time show her appreciation for the time she spends with you. (Kinda a positive reinforcement thing)
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look, if she wants space give her space. The trick is not to chase after her while at the same time be kind of a "rock". Don't show her emotional dependency. But do show her that you will be there for her. She needs to know that you can be trusted so you can find some subtle way or reasuring her that you aren't going anywhere. While at the same time allow her to come to you as she feels a bit more comfortable. Depending on how long you have been going out you can let her know how you feel to a degree. There is a danger though. If this is hurting you and she knows it she will begin to feel guilty. So basically be patient, let her come to you, but at the same time show her appreciation for the time she spends with you. (Kinda a positive reinforcement thing) Perfectly worded! |
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hOW Do you sort of date??? Maybe she is just using you for sex!!
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hOW Do you sort of date??? Maybe she is just using you for sex!! LOL The "sort of" part is because of the on-again/off-again status as she pushes away when things start looking up. |
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I'd drop her......no offence but it sounds like she is waiting for someone else
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nope it isnt going to work..move on
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 its over. move on she dont like you that way but doesnt want to tell you
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its over. move on she dont like you that way but doesnt want to tell you .....and again....yep. |
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Move on buddy. You can find and do much better.
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Thanks for the advice, even those of you who didn't say things I wanted to hear.
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